April is sexual assault awareness month, so I found it more than fitting to post this article now; especially since I have seen very little promoting such an important cause. Recently I have seen and heard a number of different reactions to a series of different alleged sexual assaults. A lot of these comments were filled with ignorance, which makes me upset until I remember that most people are not taught nearly enough about sexual assaults. Typically whenever schools have assemblies about sexual assault and rape, they focus on telling boys not to do it and give tips to girls on how not to be a victim. However, this does little to prevent assaults from taking place and provides very little practical and useful information. The area in which I have noticed the largest information gap is in how to react when a victim of sexual assault comes forward. That is why I have made a short list of things to remember when a sexual assault case comes into the light.

1. Anything but Yes is a No

This should be a given, but for some reason it still isn’t. If you are doing anything physical with somebody, you MUST ask for consent. Even if it’s something as small as a kiss; if there is any doubt at all that the other person may not want to do whatever you are about to do, you have to stop and ask the other person involved. And it does not matter how many times you have done it in the past, if you two are dating, or even married; anybody is allowed to say no. If everyone respected this principle, then there would be no need for this article. But, unfortunately, certain people feel as though they do not have to respect other people’s bodies, which leads to sexual assault.

2.Anyone can be sexually assaulted/commit sexual assault

The stereotypical victim of a sexual assault is young females. While statistics have shown that they do make up the majority of cases, victims range from a number of different ages and gender. Men included.

There is also the false stereotype that rapist and sexual offenders are creepy men who hit on girls late at night. This is also a false assumption. Approximately 4 out of 5 assaults are committed by somebody that is known to the victim. Assaulters also often times have a very charming and charismatic personality. This is what makes them so dangerous, and unfortunately so successful, in committing these acts. They draw their victims close to them so that they have their full trust, and then take advantage of that. People are often times surprised to find out that a very likable and friendly boyfriend could be assaulting somebody; however, in reality, this is the common profile of a sexual offender.

3. If the assault happened recently, encourage them to go to the hospital with you

It is important in any case, and even more so in cases involving drugs, that the victim is looked at by a professional. First and foremost it is important for the victim's physical safety to make sure that they are not suffering from any injuries. In the case of drugs, it is important to get checked to make sure that there is no chance of an overdose or any other long lasting damages to the body.

Another reason that it is important to go to the hospital as soon as possible is to get evidence that the assault accrued. If the patient was raped within the last 72 hours, they are eligible to get a rape kit done, to prove that they were raped. Bruises, cuts, DNA found on clothing, can all be recorded at the hospital and stand up in a court of law.

4. Believe them! Even if they don’t have any “proof”

A lot of people use the phrase "innocent until proven guilty" to apply to cases of sexual assault. And while yes, if you are on the jury of a sexual assault case, that is the philosophy to follow, it is not the stance you should take when a victim comes forward to. The sad fact is, unless a person has medical evidence collected from doctors shortly after the assault happened, or footage of the assault taking place, there is no other hard evidence that can be presented. In many cases, the victims story is the only evidence that they have.

A surprisingly large amount of people think that it is common for women who consented to sex but regretted it later, or a crazy ex to falsely cry rape. However the truth is, only about 2% of all sexual charges are determined to be false. This is around the same, if not lower, than other felonies. So while yes, false accusations do happen, they are extremely rare.

5. If the assault happened a while ago and they are just opening up about it now DO NOT ask them why they didn’t go to the police

In a society where victims are often not believed or blamed for the assault, it is understandable why victims are often times not comfortable coming forward about what happened to them. In addition to the numerous amounts of emotional reasons victims do not come forward, there is also the fact that our justice system is not good at handling sexual assault cases. Out of every 100 rapes, only 32 of them get reported to police. Out of those 32 rapist, only 2 of them will spend a single night in prison. Unfortunately going to the authorities most of the time has no end result.

6. Make sure that you are getting the support that you need

Having a friend, family member, or significant other dealing with a sexual assault case would be hard on anybody. Obviously most of the attention and support is given to the victim, for obvious reasons, however those who are second-handedly affected need support to. You may feel at fault for not recognizing the red flags sooner or taking more action. It is also simply horrifying and sad to know that somebody close to you went through something so terrible. There is no doubt that all of this will eventually drain you both mentally and physically. That is why it is encouraged for anybody in this situation to seek counseling, or at least find somebody that they can talk to about their feelings openly with. It is not selfish or weak to need support, even if you are not the direct victim of a sexual assault.

7. Most importantly, just listen to them

It takes a lot of trust and courage for a victim of sexual assault to come forward about what happened to them. The best thing you can do is listen to everything they have to say. Allow them to let out all of their bottled up emotions and fears. It may not seem like much, but it will probably mean the world to the person you are talking to.