"Whatever you did to get her, you have to continue doing to keep her." Those are words from my Papaw Curtis. My mom said that is something he used to tell his sons, but I believe it can translate to anyone. The point is that just because you've been in a relationship with someone for a long time does not mean you let go of all of the special things you do for them to make them feel appreciated. Small things like getting your loved one flowers, taking them out on a date, giving them a back rub when they've had a long day, those things do not go unnoticed. You don' have to only do those things on anniversaries either. Doing something small everyday can keep love strong.
We need to love with our whole heart. Give without expecting anything in return. Maintaining a relationship's strength is not a one-sided thing though. You have to do it together. The thing is, if you do something nice for the one you love, if you are with the right person, they are going to want to do something nice for you. It balances out, but you should continue to give to the person you love even if they don't give back. It might be like that at times, relationships can be challenging. People go through rough patches. The person you love may be at a time in their life where they can't give much back to you. If you really love them you should try to give enough for the both of you. Being there for them could be all they need from you. Nothing will get better if you give up on it.
Papaw Curtis also used to say, "Treat her like your girlfriend, not your wife." By that he meant, you should do the sweet little things you did when you were dating. You may think after so many years that those things are no longer necessary. My Mamaw and Papaw were married 59 years before he went on to be with The Lord. He was always sweet with my Mamaw. I know that whenever I marry I want it to last, so I'm gong to take advice from someone who had a lasting marriage and make sure my future husband knows that he is always loved, and he is always appreciated. Doing the little things you did while dating can help your significant other know that you love them even more than you did when you were first starting out. It never hurts to remind someone how much you care about them. I've seen how letting the things you do for your loved one fall back on your list of priorities can take a toll on a relationship. Don't neglect the small things. They make a big difference.
Love should be a place where you can go when you need shelter from the raging storms of life. Love should be a healing when you feel broken. Love should be a place to rest and regain your strength. Love should be your strength in your times of weakness. Love should be your encouragement. Love should be your laughter and happiness. Love should be endurance. Love is a commitment. Love is a promise. This is what everyone needs from love. It's what you are going to need from the one who loves you and it's what you have to provide for the one you love. Warren Barfield wrote a song called Love is not a fight. I believe this is a song that can remind us of what it truly means to love someone. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: Love is patient and kind. It is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand it's own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never looses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
That is a hard standard to live up to, but it's something to strive for. We will all fall short of that at times, but that is why you have to work together with the one you love to maintain your relationship and make it last.
