How I Remember Each Contestant On Jojo's Season Of 'The Bachelorette' | The Odyssey Online
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How I Remember Each Contestant On Jojo's Season Of 'The Bachelorette'

What is more fun than bashing on the attention-seeking Bachelorette contestants?

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How I Remember Each Contestant On Jojo's Season Of 'The Bachelorette'
abc.go.com

Every Monday, millions of viewers crowd around their TVs, with wine in hand, to follow the beautiful Jojo's love story on this season of "The Bachelorette." For those of you who live under a rock, "The Bachelorette" is a reality television show where 26 suitors fly to LA, live in a house together, and go on numerous dates with the bachelor or bachelorette of that season. Although we are only a few weeks in, here are my first impressions of the typical cookie-cutter boys who have been flown out from their one bedroom, one bathroom condos to meet the beautiful Jojo.


Alex, 26

You're basically a jalapeño: hot and small. Can Jojo even wear heels next to you?


Ali, 27

Eyebrows


Brandon, 28

You were so ahead of the game you were sent home before the show picked up.


Chad, 28

This man is the obvious villain of this season. He will be gone soon enough. Sooner or later, you will be the next Olivia, stranded on an island alone.


Chase, 27

He's basically Chad without the personality (or anger management problems).


Christian, 26

You are "next bachelor material." You're not really Jojo's type, but you can stick around.


Colin, 27

Who is this?


Daniel, 31

Daniel, you got #whitegirlwasted.


Derek, 29

I didn't know that Steve Carell and John Krasinski had a baby.


Evan, 33

I've never seen anyone try to comb forward a receding hair line.


Grant, 28

Buddy, you made me a little nervous during your group date when you almost lost a competition pertaining your own profession.


Jake, 27

Who is this (number two)?


James, 34

You're a plain bowl of vanilla ice cream.


James S, 27

I'm just curious, how much money does a Bachelor Superfan make annually? I'm assuming a lot, seeing as you wear half of the Mac cosmetics line every episode.


James Taylor, 29

He's every country girl's dream. Maybe he will bring out the Texas Southern Belle in Jojo.


Jonathan, 29

Who is this (number 3)?


Jordan, 27

As of now, he's the front runner for Jojo's heart. However, please stop name dropping your brother.


Luke, 31

You're a dime. I'm crossing my fingers that you will be the next Bachelor.


Nick B, 33

This is one of the only guys with an original haircut this season.


Nick S, 26

Your shirt is so in style.


Peter, 26

Yawn.


Robby, 27

He's a Ken doll with a receding hair line.


Sal, 28

You have pretty eyes.


Vinny, 28

"Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots everybody!"


Wells, 31

You're the cutest, mushiest contestant ever.


Will, 26

Will I remember you in two days? I probably won't.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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