Connecting with one special person to spend your life with seems to be the ultimate cheat code to a game these days. The single community has increased so much that there are more relationship sites than maybe actual relationships. You cannot be involved in media of any sort and not see daily commercials for relationship sites.
Overall, the lifestyle of the average working person has made it hard for him or her to do things the old fashion way—going out and meeting someone. We are more into our phones, anyway; why not meet someone while we do our daily tasks? Social media has become an outlet to help meet that special someone, and an outlet to lose that special someone as well. However, they typically tend to cause more damage.
So what happened between then and now?
Being born in 1995, I honestly am not old enough to tell you about the older days. At the same time, I am and have been in a relationship for seven years and know a little something about them. After talking to my very single friends, here are five of the biggest things they complain about.
1. There's a lack of trust
This is likely caused by locked phones and private social media accounts.
2. Everyone cheats
Because it's so easy; why wouldn't they?
3. Everyone has a backup
They don't want to be in a relationship where they're not treated with respect because they can be replaced.
4. There's a lack of communication
As a person in a relationship, I can tell you communication is 120% of the relationship.
5. They feel too young to settle down
I didn't really understand this, but I'm not single. This is also triggered by the parents telling them how they regret their lives and how they didn't "live enough."
As a current outsider of the whole "single and ready to mingle" scene, here is what I personally think ruins the possibility of a functioning relationship.
1. We stop seeing positive relationships on reality TV, and at home
When is the last time you saw a relationship you actually admired? I'm not talking about celebrity ones, either, but wholesome ones where you can see that the couple actually loves each other. Not only did that decrease, but then there's the fact that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Even with a large number of contributing factors, it still is a very high number. Children and young adults alike see this and wonder if they should even get married. There is no certainty for the union of marriage and healthy relationships because no one can see true examples.
2. The view of relationships has been altered...badly!
I cannot stress enough how relationship goals are just well-taken pictures. Just like life, you cannot want what someone else has because all you see is what they want you to see. It's OK to have goals for your personal relationship, but not every meme. There is also the fact that every fight or disagreement does not need to be on a public site. Personal problems should only be handled by the two people in the relationship. It's you and your partner—not you, your partner, and social media. The more you keep a secret, the happier you will be.
I believe that if we develop our own standards for relationships, they would bloom naturally. Getting lost in the internet creates unrealistic goals and an unhealthy way of thinking. Do what works for you, and not what looks good on social media.
