I believe that every person has the right to love. To love and be loved. This includes feeling loved as well. Being loved and feeling loved do not always coexist. A person can love you but have a messed up way of showing it and that is when things can get detrimental. Whether that is mentally, physically or emotionally. However, unfortunately many people play victim to this type of “love”. The thing is you should not feel obligated to stay in that situation.
I know so many girls who feel this obligation to stay in unhealthy relationships and I honestly don’t know what to do about it other than to put these words out there. Whether he is hitting you and then turning around and saying he didn’t mean it, or if he’s calling you names and verbally abusing you to make up for his own short-comings and then makes you feel like you asked for it, just know that you don’t have to put up with it. You will always deserve better. Maybe you have threatened to leave or even tried and he pulls the whole “I wouldn’t want to live without you”, “everything in my life will fall apart if you leave me”, “If you do this I’ll start failing school and will have to drop out”. This is what makes you feel obligated and don’t let it. Of course things are going to be hard if it ends, it’s a break-up, but that isn’t on you. You need to remember that pain you feel 85% of the time you’re with him. I mean let’s be honest, it’s not all bad all the time because if it was you wouldn’t be torn between staying and leaving. The bad should not outweigh the good.
Know that there is someone out there who will think that you hung the moon. There is no reason for you to be in a relationship with a negatively impacting partner when you could be with someone who makes you better. Trust me that is out there and once again, you deserve it. So think about the obligation you have to yourself. Wait and be with the guy that makes you feel the way you dreamed prince charming would make you feel when you were a little girl. I know it is not necessarily an easy thing to go about, but it will be one of the most worth it things you will ever do.
My last thing for you to think about is how hard it is for your loved ones to watch you settle for less than the best you. I can tell you that it is so hard because to some degree there is nothing you can do but watch. Think about if you could see the same thing happen with your best friend, your sister, your daughter. You wouldn’t want an unhealthy relationship for them and you should not want it for yourself either. So just remember, you will always deserve better.
