I'm Not Asking For Prince Charming, My Relationship Standards Are Pretty Simple

I'm Not Asking For Prince Charming, My Relationship Standards Are Pretty Simple

Read about my personal struggles with wanting to start a relationship during my time at ISU.

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Ever since I was in grammar school, I dreamt of the day that I would have that special guy in my life who knew practically everything about me, appreciated me for who I am, loved me unconditionally and knows how to always make me have a good laugh. Being in college has definitely knocked that expectation out of my head because of the roadblocks that guys throw our way when it comes to wanting to commit.

One of the biggest excuses I have been told is that I don't have time for a relationship, which from my personal experience is not true. I had three jobs at one point during my freshmen year of college, completed all of my assignments, had a social life and still technically had time for a relationship to fit in there.

I've given up on the idea that Prince Charming is bound to come into my life, but my list of expectations are very simple. Be there for me just like how I will be there for you. Make some time occasionally for us to be able to hang out one-on-one so that we don't lose touch with our relationship. Lastly, show me that you care in any way, shape or form that reminds me that I never have to question if you still think about me. I'm not expecting my future boyfriend to send me flowers once a week, buy me fancy dinners or have to shower me with gifts. The biggest "gift" I could ever want is their time. I don't need to be taken to a white tablecloth restaurant, need you to drive me everywhere we go or need you to make time for me every day of your life. As long as there is communication between the both of us that never makes me feel as if you have lost interest in our relationship then you'll make me the happiest girl in the world.

My idea of a perfect date consists of either of these activities: hanging out and listening to music, watching a movie, walks on campus, doing homework at the library, going to the gym to workout or just driving around town! Sometimes I feel like guys think that we expect to be taken on these fancy dates that involve us having to get dressed up or takes up a lot of time. In reality, as long as we are spending time with you, that's considered a date no matter how short it may seem or doesn't require that much effort to have it happen! In high school, it was considered a date if we just walked around our town mall and didn't even end up buying anything because it was two people spending time together regardless of what was being bought or had going on around them.

Being in a relationship is still a stage of my life that I have yet to experience but I know that when it does happen, I will put my best foot forward to show my significant other that he means a lot to me, I would do anything for him and that he can talk to me about anything. A lot of people don't really understand how important communication is in a relationship because we cannot expect our boyfriend/girlfriend to be able to read our minds if we are feeling a certain way.

College is supposed to be the best time of our lives, so don't waste your time trying to impress someone that doesn't give you the time of day or doesn't care about your life beneath the surface of what is seen by the naked eye. You want a person that is going to be there for you regardless of their hectic schedule, will show you that you are special and worth their time.

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4. Listen to her.

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Some days, it seems like girlfriends are constantly asking for more, and while they may be annoying, there are a few simple ways to stop her nagging and win her praise.

1. Pay attention to her.

I promise you, she is dropping hints every day. These may sound like "Awh, look at all the pretty flowers" or "I haven't been to Boba House in so long!"

2. Plan dates. 

Text her while she is at school or work, and tell her to be ready when you get home or by a certain time. Give her an idea of how dressed up she should be, but don't tell her where you're going. Then, take her to her favorite restaurant, one she's mentioned lately, or to a new movie she'd been looking forward to!

3. Pick up small gifts for her.

This doesn't have to be anything expensive, but next time you're at the grocery store pick up her favorite candy, or a small flower bouquet. Just something little that will show her you were thinking of her when you weren't together.

4. Listen to her. 

Ask about her day, and when she tells you what Sarah did at work, ask her the next day or a few days later if things got better. Take interest in her life and remind her occasionally refer back to old topics to prove you do listen.

5. Get her involved in your interests.

It doesn't all have to be about her! Ask her to watch the game with you, or to go out with you to hang with your friends. She wants to be just as involved in your life as she wants you to be involved in hers!

At the end of the day, every relationship is different. Take this advice as vaguely as needed, and learn your partner and what they expect from you! Happy dating! :)

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Women Across Twitter Are Using #WhyIDidntReport To Show Just How Few Sexual Assault Survivors Come Forward

"To all the brave people sharing their #WhyIDidntReport stories; we see you, we believe you and we stand with you. You are not alone."

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Earlier this month, Christine Blasey Ford accused Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaaugh of sexually assaulting her when they were teenagers.

Yes, keyword, teenagers.

Because this happened decades ago many people have been questioning the timing of Dr. Ford's allegation. Among those people (and not shockingly) is President Donald Trump. He got his "twitter fingers" ready, firing at Dr. Ford.

Obviously, the victims of sexual assault fired back at President Trump creating a powerful hashtag #WhyIDidntReport. The tweets are heart-wrenching, breaking and all in all the most motivating thread in the history of Twitter.

Jaime, I am broken at this tweet. And I am so sorry that you were put through this assault and I pray that time heals you. It's crazy how much your parents have tried to protect us from literally everything and here you are protecting your mother.


Two. Tweets.

Two. FREAKING. Tweets.

Kate Conger, I am so sorry. It took SEVEN years for someone to respond to this poor girl. seven years of living through the constant nightmare, the feeling of hands all over you.

The feeling of being alone.

Seven. Years.

I am disgusted.


"He would never do that."

Lines that us women hear all the time from other women and men who are too in denial that there are men out there who aren't freaking raised right.




Money and popularity do not make you a decent person. It makes you ugly when you use that to hurt other people.


THIS. Those three horrible words.



"Asking for it"

I cannot believe that we still live in a world where individuals actually believe that being nice means that you are asking for it, going out for a drink means that sex is allowed and that the clothing we wear tells men that we want it.

Consent.

No means NO.

No answer means NO.


I can't even breathe. I feel sick to my stomach.




7-years-old? 12-years-old? 15-years-old? 17-years-old?

My heart aches.


Because some of us were raised to be kind, and to respect other people, to never harm anyone. And instead of using those phrases to protect ourselves, we used them to protect these monsters.

Because we are so freaking scared. Men are so freaking scary.

I'm hurt. I'm scared.

I'm scared to walk down the street smiling in case a man takes in the wrong way. I am scared to be too nice, but I'm scared to not be known as a bitch.

I'm scared that no one will believe me.

I'm scared.

To every woman sharing their stories, I am here. I am listening. I am YOU.

Together we fall, together we stand.

We are the change. We are the voice.

If you are someone you know has been sexually assaulted please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, 1.800.HOPE.



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