9 Song Lyrics That Explain Why My Past Relationship Was Full Of Red Flags

9 Song Lyrics That Explain Why My Past Relationship Was Full Of Red Flags

I needed to open my eyes.

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When it comes to relationships there are bound to be songs that you hear throughout that remind you of your significant other; when you break up those songs are still connected to that person. Sometimes it's positive and you reminisce about the good things, but other times they make you realize that you missed some major red flags. Here are 9 song lyrics that remind me of my past relationship, and why they should have been red flags.

1. “You kiss me as if it's a favor done for me” - Rich White Girls, Mansionz

I remember when I got the courage to kiss you goodbye for the first time after one of our dates and feeling my stomach get butterflies as I pulled away. You had always been the one to kiss me. As time went on, it seemed more and more like I was the one who had to kiss you, and when you kissed me first that it was a job. It was something you did for me, not because you wanted to and that should never be the case.

2. “I feel your chest, but I can't find your heart” - Obsessed, Maggie Lindemann

Looking into your eyes I realized at some point something switched, and you had started looking at me to see your own reflection. It became a game of "I'm the man, and you're lucky I still let you love me." The heart I thought you had, the one I thought was full of love for me was truly only full of yourself and your ego.

3. “I don’t know how I let you lead so long 'Cause right now you’re only holding me back 'Cause I’m not where I want to be, and you’re not who I wish you were” - Fever Dream, Grayscale

You were in control of me and what we were, but what we were and who you were isn't what I wished it was. With that said, it was all I knew. Our relationship isn't something I regret, but it is something that held me back from things I loved. You didn't support my hobbies, you told me they dumb, yet I still supported yours. What I loved was just to make you happy.

4. “I got you figured out, you need to have control” - Yes Girl, Bea Miller

It didn't take you long to realize you had a power over me; you had complete control. I would drop almost anything when you would call me. That was an error. As soon as I took any control back from you, or I didn't seem to care what you said, you would snap. You always found some way to put me down, to put me back in what you thought was my place and for you to get your control back. I was powerless.

5. “And I use every bone in my body to keep on holding on to your trust” - Dang!, Mac Miller

Trust is something that is the foundation of a relationship, at least in my mind. When my trust in you started to slip, I did everything in my power to regain it. I was holding onto the little bits of things you were honest about, even when those little bits were things that hurt. In reality, I shouldn't have trusted you, but you had led me to believe that you were worth it.

6. “And I can’t tell anyone the morning after you.” - Morning After, Meg Myers

When I would spend the night I would leave early the next morning for work, and you would walk me out and kiss me goodbye. That was a moment I didn't want to leave, because I knew as soon as I left your porch steps you, and the night prior, would be pushed to the back of my mind. I began to hide the fact I had seen you, not daring to tell my friends until weeks later. They all hated you and were disappointed in me. I risked losing those I loved most for you.

7. You want me to be yours, well then you gotta be mine” - My Boi, Billie Eilish

Double standards are wild, aren't they? You said you were okay with me seeing other people because you were too, but boy that was a lie. As soon as you knew I had, you realized you had lost a little control and told me no more. You kept it up though, and I was expected to sit back and be okay with it. I became nothing more than something you had ownership of.

8. “Then you’re gonna put back on your clothes then I'm gonna wish I was alone but we never change a step and do it all again” - Bored, Bea Miller

It's as simple as that, I loved our time between the sheets but as soon as it was done I wanted nothing more than to leave. Grab my clothes, grab my keys, say goodbye and get out. I didn't want the hurt of you not caring for me anymore to set in so I'm would drive home at ungodly speeds and blast music to distract me. I just wanted to be alone, but I knew I'd be back in your bed again soon.

9. “Shoulda listened to the sh*t my mama told me not to mention all the warnings from my homies” - Anymore , Lil Aaron

My friends and my family liked you until our relationship got rocky and we split, the first time that is. We played a game of off and on for so long, and everyone kept telling me you were no good. I didn't listen because you had me wrapped up so tightly around your finger. I should have listened.

What we had I don't regret, in fact, I'm thankful I got to experience the things we did, both good and bad. With that in mind, there were things I wish I would have noticed, all of the red flags are so obvious now. I wish that I would have left earlier. I lost who I was in order to love you, yet that wasn't enough for you to keep loving me.

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I Blame My Dad For My High Expectations

Dad, it's all your fault.
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I always tell my dad that no matter who I date, he's always my number one guy. Sometimes I say it as more of a routine thing. However, the meaning behind it is all too real. For as long as I can remember my dad has been my one true love, and it's going to be hard to find someone who can top him.

My dad loves me when I am difficult. He knows how to keep the perfect distance on the days when I'm in a mood, how to hold me on the days that are tough, and how to stand by me on the days that are good.

He listens to me rant for hours over people, my days at school, or the episode of 'Grey's Anatomy' I watched that night and never once loses interest.

He picks on me about my hair, outfit, shoes, and everything else after spending hours to get ready only to end by telling me, “You look good." And I know he means it.

He holds the door for me, carries my bags for me, and always buys my food. He goes out of his way to make me smile when he sees that I'm upset. He calls me randomly during the day to see how I'm doing and how my day is going and drops everything to answer the phone when I call.

When it comes to other people, my dad has a heart of gold. He will do anything for anyone, even his worst enemy. He will smile at strangers and compliment people he barely knows. He will strike up a conversation with anyone, even if it means going way out of his way, and he will always put himself last.

My dad also knows when to give tough love. He knows how to make me respect him without having to ask for it or enforce it. He knows how to make me want to be a better person just to make him proud. He has molded me into who I am today without ever pushing me too hard. He knew the exact times I needed to be reminded who I was.

Dad, you have my respect, trust, but most of all my heart. You have impacted my life most of all, and for that, I can never repay you. Without you, I wouldn't know what I to look for when I finally begin to search for who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it might take some time to find someone who measures up to you.

To my future husband, I'm sorry. You have some huge shoes to fill, and most of all, I hope you can cook.

Cover Image Credit: Logan Photography

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To The Boy I’ve Been Dating Since I Was 15, I Always Knew You Were My Forever

Thank you for showing me love when I thought I didn't deserve any.

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Hey you,

People assumed our "fling" would only last a few short months. It's what everyone assumes when your first love happens during your sophomore year of high school. Yet here we stand, three and a half years later, more together than we've ever been. Although we've had our ups and downs, we still managed to keep our relationship going and to remember why we're together in the first place.

Many say loving isn't easy, but you make it a walk in the park.

You respect me in more ways than one, and you make me feel beautiful, inside and out. For a long time, I never noticed the beauty and strength I have within myself. I didn't see what others would point out to me, and at times I still find it hard to acknowledge my worth. However, you came into my life at a time when I felt I had no one, and you helped me to see all I have to offer. You helped me to open my mind to the thought of loving myself for who I am, and although the road is long and I'm not completely there, you've made me see how worthy of love I truly am.

Having you as my best friend, along with being my boyfriend, is the most rewarding feeling in the world.

I think the reason we rarely fight or stay angry with each other is that we truly are best friends. We could spend all of our time in deep conversation about any topic in the world and still feel engaged and ready to hear more from one another. Every single day I learn something new about you and vice versa. We can be ourselves in each other's presence and have fun doing absolutely nothing exciting. I am easily annoyed by a lot of things, but you are not one of them. Being with you for hours, even if we just watch TV the entire time, never gets repetitive or boring.

You treated me with the respect I deserved before I even realized I was worthy of it.

In many ways, I don't respect myself. Whether it be body image or letting "friends" walk all over me, I let many thoughts and people control my life. You, however, were the saving grace I needed. You've shown me how I deserve to be treated and how I should think of myself. Often I wonder how I got so lucky to end up with someone who loves me unconditionally and who values everything I have to offer. I say all the time that I don't deserve your heart, your kindness, your love, but you always remind me that I do. And I'm starting to realize that you're right; I deserve every bit of love, kindness, and respect that you have to offer. I can only hope that I award you with the same love and selflessness you give me every single day.

Three and a half years with someone may seem extremely long, but I feel as though we've been together a lifetime. It's hard to remember a time when you weren't right there beside me, and I would never want to imagine a future without you in it. There are so many more laughs, adventures, and memories to be made with you, and I only hope that I can be at least half of the person you are.

Thank you for pulling me out of the darkness. Today, tomorrow, and always.

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