Having an older sister is such a blessing. She's there for you when you need her, and is always ready to help you through life. Plus, she's been through it all before and knows just what you're experiencing. I got to talk to my out-of-state sister the other day and benefited from her wealth of knowledge and life experience. She's a few years older – a few years wiser. As cliched girls, we ended up talking about relationships, and she had some wonderful pointers. Here's some relationship advice, from my big sister to you.
I know it's fun to think about the future, and early in a relationship you want to daydream about what's to come, but you can't always do that. Don't focus on what lies ahead; focus on what's here now. Live in the moment and enjoy what you have at the present. Don't get so wrapped up in what's to happen a month from now, a year from now, or ten years from now! You'll end up ruining the time you have at the moment by continually worrying about or dwelling on the future.
Think about all the little things you love about your significant other, and focus on those things. There will be things they do that annoy you, and first I would say try not to let them bother you so much. When something does really bother you, you have to be open and say something about it at the outset. I know you're like me and you don't want to cause friction, so you'll try not to say anything, but then it just gets bottled up and you end up saying something at the wrong time and in the wrong way. If you hold it in, you'll blow up. So instead, speak up (nicely) the first time it happens. Don't make it about how annoying he is, but rather, explain that it's a really big pet peeve of yours. Then you can gently remind him of how it bothers you each subsequent time it happens, and he'll be more understanding. No blow up, no argument.
One big issue in relationships for people our age is money. Early on, you should keep an eye out for how your significant other handles his finances. Of course, everyone varies financially at this stage in life. Some people have career-oriented jobs, but some are still working a regular, crumby, summer job to make it through the school year. Don't worry if he's a broke college kid – everyone is at that age. What matters is if he has plans to better himself. Does he want to further his education? Does he have plans for a career in order to provide for himself and his future family? It doesn't necessarily matter so much what his financial status is now, but it matters if he wants to improve it and better himself. You deserve someone who wants to and can take care of you.
What you really want to look out for is how he spends his money. Is he going out and buying random things that he doesn't need all the time? Or worse, is he buying those things before taking care of the bills? I'm very careful about those things. I'm not going on shopping sprees all the time, or getting my nails done every week. Sure, I may treat myself from time to time, but I always make sure I have my bases covered and take care of all of my expenses first. It's fine to splurge every once in a while, but it's important that you and your significant other are responsible with your money now, otherwise it will cause a whole lot of issues later on.
Most importantly, let go of petty arguments. Talk things out, but once you've worked through it, let it go. Don't hold onto things that happened last night or last week – forgive and try your best to forget. Holding a grudge is a sure-fire way to make everyone in the relationship unhappy. So don't do it. You never really know how much time you have with someone, so make the most of every moment and enjoy loving each other with a servant's heart, always putting the other first. It's hard, but if any relationship is going to stand the test of time, that's what it takes.
