Since I am writing from a personal standpoint because I have four kids (and also some others kids that I consider mine because they are my kids’ father’s kids), and not a lot of time to deal with nonsense dating. At one point I was with my kids' father for a while, and when we mutually broke up my oldest (not his by the way) was 15 years of age and I did not want my kids to see a revolving door of "uncles" coming in and out my home. So I set a few rules and regulations to abide by for myself.
First rule of dating me the gentleman has to be in my age rage that is around six years over or under my age. I made this rule so I won't be teaching the gentleman the ways on how to treat he should treat me (his parents should have already taught him). When I was young I had aunts and uncles who told me and my cousins the in's and out's of dating by looking at the way they conducted their relationships. My parents taught me how to have a successful marriage because they were married until my father died in 2003. I always felt like I was not a typical woman in the dating world, I emphasized my way through life and relationships.
I tried to read Steve Harvey's Rules on Dating he had some great pointers on dating but at the end of the day he is a man that had several marriages and divorces under his belt. For example, he says, "have your kids met your potential mate in the beginning?" Well let me contradict that real quick, if you have kids who have special needs you need to Google anybody and everybody who will come in contact with your kids. Secondly, I have to make sure he is living alone because dealing with a borrowed man either when he is sleeping on his baby-mama's couch or letting his mom stay with him is not my type of hype.
A potential suitor should have a job or fund-age of his own. I had a househusband I will not do that again.When a guy says he is just there to help out with the kids or help pay the bills that's code word for you're just a side-chick or he’s just not that into you. There are exceptions to every regulation though. Since I won’t be introducing my potential (man) to my lively hood (my kids) there is no use in telling them where my home is because I consider my house and my kids my sanctuary, so they will not meet a potential date until I am satisfied that the potential will be long-term.
I had few men who made it to the point of meeting my kids but after they meet them we parted ways because we had differences in our lifetime goals, for example my son has really bad health issues and they believe I should make them a priority instead of my kids and that is a real big exit sign to me. I used to let the gentlemen at least know where I'm living and I had a few instances where men showed up at my house asking for me, or telling my kids they're my man.
One guy even told me I act like a man
when I date… Like I hit it quit it and take my ass back home. I am also not a typical female because if you call or text me I could care less about calling or texting you right
back I might text you a few hours or a few days later, because I am busy going
to school, raising kids, and dealing with everyday life. I really do not have
time to worry about what kind of AstroTurf the next person is mowing. I just
now starting dating around because I feel my kids, including my differently-abled son, can handle me dating. I just hope I taught my kids a better way of
dating for future reference while living their life.
