For those who didn't know, I spent my summer working in a deli within a larger supermarket, and hoo boy, do I have some stories. Quite honestly, it's always more eventful than you expect it to be, and that can be a really, really good thing or a really, really bad thing. And what can make that eventful?
Regulars.
Ah yes, those customers who come in daily and bring all sorts of fun to the table. Some are amazing, some are neutral, and some...well, let's say I've been waiting to do this article until I've switched jobs so I can spill a little bit of tea.
1. The True Neutral
The True Neutral is a regular who...somehow manages to not be a huge deal one way or another. You hear lots of different stories about regulars who are either amazing or horrible, so you don't expect one to be just...there. They come in, get their order (nothing complex) and leave. They're not super polite, but they aren't rude either. Somehow they really just don't register in your brain, and honestly, it's better than some of the regulars on this list.
2. The Brainteaser
This regular has an order that would make a rocket scientist weep. Their meat has to be cut at a perfect setting, and all the different meat they want has different settings, and they have a very specific weight they want, and they need it all in a specific order. Sometimes these people are chill about letting you know the specifications and are polite, which makes them pretty cool to deal with, but other times...not so much.
3. The Royal
This regular knows they're a regular and expects YOU to know that too. They're personally offended if you haven't met them before and don't know who they are, and if you mess up their order? Hoo boy. Expect them to drop the line "I have been coming here for X years!" if you are not perfect or question them in any way. They fully believe they are royalty, or at least a Very Important Person, and they expect you to believe it too.
4. The Creep
Ladies, you already know what's up. Just about every woman (and some men, I'm sure) in food service has a regular customer who is incredibly, irrevocably creepy. Heck, my female manager had a regular who would not accept service from anyone but her and flirted with her constantly. Sometimes it's relatively harmless, other times it's downright awful. I had a regular who I made a habit of avoiding, since no matter who was helping him he would not take his eyes off my butt. Bonus points if this dude (and nine times out of ten it is a dude) could be your grandfather. Honestly, what do these people think is going to come from creeping on food service workers? It's a mystery to me.
5. Oscar The Grouch
This customer, for whatever reason, is always in a bad mood about something or other and decides to take it out on you. They never order in full sentences ("8 piece chicken!"), never once thank you, and honestly never even crack a smile or do anything besides glare. Now, I understand the plague of RBF, but these people take it to a new level. Honestly, all you can do is kill them with kindness.
6. The Cryptid
Some regulars are just...bizarre. Maybe they act strangely, maybe they have a really bizarre order (and by really bizarre, I mean really bizarre) that makes you question your life, or maybe it's just their vibe. Either way, this regular makes you wonder some things, and probably know that some things are better left unknown.
7. The Quirky
Unlike The Cryptid, this regular is a little different, but not in a bad way at all. For example, I had a regular couple visiting from Venezuela. It took a bit of work to get their order since their English wasn't perfect, and they preferred to be shown the meat so they knew what they were getting, but it definitely wasn't a bad difference. They were the actual sweetest despite taking a little more effort, and I always looked forward to seeing them. These regulars are evidence that different doesn't always mean bad.
8. The Rockstar
These regulars are the ones who are an absolute pleasure to serve. They've got their order, but if we're out of something they usually get? No big deal, they understand the world doesn't revolve around them. They always thank you, are cool if you're not perfect, and manage to be friendly without verging on creepy. Seeing these regulars absolutely brightens your day, just because they're the type of people who you can look forward to seeing. They're always kind to you, they're always understanding, and they're willing to work with you if they have to wait or if they modify their order.
Food service definitely isn't always an awesome experience, but some regulars really do make it worth it. So we just have to take the bad as it comes, and wait for the bright spots in our day. And if you're one of those bright spots, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
