This time of year, you'll see a lot of articles circulating online about the good times of college with fun friends, meaningful memories, and crazy classes. I understand that—at first I wanted to write something on that as well. Wheaton has been an excellent place to start my college career, fostering a love of learning and a spirit of care for those around me. I have grown as a Christian, a friend, a daughter, a sister and a student. I am not the same person I was nine months ago. But it would be irresponsible to only recognize this idealistic side of the college experience. The 2015-2016 freshmen class were not transported to paradise on earth; we dealt with hard things. Relationships were lost, divisions created, and loneliness set in. We had the hardest classes of our life, learned about time management the hard way, and had to figure out how we would afford the next day. Boundaries were set, stretched, and broken, and I'm sure everyone has some regrets. Yes, the first year of college was awesome, and I never want to forget that, but I don't want to forget the challenges that I will be better for in the future, either.
I regret that I did not stay in touch with as many people from home as I should have. When I did maintain steady contact with people, it was infrequent at best, and negligent at worst. I made great relationships at college that I hopefully will keep for the rest of my life, but the ones I went into college with should not suffer for my priorities shifting. They matter to me, and I could have done more to show it.
I regret that I did not develop deeper relationships with my professors. At the end of the day, I know that they care about me as a person beyond the classroom, but I did not make the effort to open a door in that capacity like I knew I should. I hope that next year I will work up the courage to share a meal, utilize office hours, or simply spend time in prayer with and for them.
I regret that I did not use my newfound knowledge to its full potential. I learned a lot about health and exercise, Bible studying, and reading skills, but I could have done so much more than I did with this increased knowledge in applying it to my life. It is good to know, but better to practice.
I regret my own imperfections at being independent. Although I do have a good work ethic and am self-motivated beyond belief, a little accountability can go a long way. I should have cleaned a little more, done laundry a bit more often, watched a little less Netflix, snacked a little less while watching Netflix...I turned out okay, but these are all things I hope to be better at next year.
I do not write this to give the impression that my year was full of mistakes or a waste of time. It was one of the best years of my life. Rather, I write this to show that anyone else who does not quite click with the idealistic reminiscence so prevalent this month is not alone. Strive to be better. Learn from your mistakes so they become blessings over regrets.
