I Refuse To Use A Dating App

I Refuse To Meet My Future Husband Online

I don't want to meet my husband on tinder.

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As millennials, we live in a world surrounded by the latest and greatest technology, which could be both good and bad at the same time. Advanced technology allows us to do things that we never thought possible in the past, and it is only improving. However, this advancement in technology does have a downside.

We are always hiding behind our screens, hardly knowing how to properly interact face to face with another human. Now we have countless numbers of dating apps and websites and honestly, that is not okay with me.

I am the type of person who wants to meet someone in person, talk, go on dates and fall in love in person, face to face, not behind a computer or a phone screen. I am one of those people who, when it comes to relationships, likes things a little more old school...Like the guy asking the girl out and falling in love in person.

Don't get me wrong, dating apps can be great and work for a lot of people but to me, that sounds completely awful and somewhat terrifying.

Meeting someone in person can also have a downside as well. If you meet someone and fall in love with them, and if you, unfortunately, get your heart broken, the effects of that heartbreak could be very traumatic and probably worse than if you break up with someone you met on the internet. You could see them around town and simply seeing their face is only a painful reminder.

Having this preference of meeting someone in person instead of online in this time of technology may be difficult because everyone is online these days, but I am willing to take that risk. I am not looking for a little fling.

I am looking for a life partner, a best friend, someone who will want to be by my side for the rest of my life, and if I have to wait a while to be able to find that person, then so be it.

With meeting someone on the internet, it is hard to know who they really are or if they are lying about their identity because it is so easy for people to hide. You never know who you are really talking to until you meet them in person. It is also hard to know what their intentions are because a lot of people on these dating apps do not have good intentions and I am not willing to take that gamble. There are so many online horror stories that scare me way too much and make me never want to join a dating site.

If dating apps are your thing, then good for you. I know it does work for people, so many people have fallen in love online. I refuse to use dating apps, no matter how much my family pressures me to find a guy. Online dating is not the thing for me and I am totally okay with that.

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Signs Your Tinder Date Is Really Just A Sentient Potato

There's a reason he didn't order fries at dinner.
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Thanks to the Internet, we millennials can get anything we want at a moment's notice, even dates. All it takes is a simple swipe right on Tinder and a brief, halfheartedly flirtatious conversation to find yourself on a date with a random stranger. Though online dating is nothing new, horror stories like the documentary "Catfish" (and its subsequently successful reality series) are constant reminders that you never truly know your online date until you finally meet up in your local generic coffee shop after spending months exchanging witty banter in an algorithm-generated chat room.

While we can all hope that those horror stories are the exception to the Tinder-era rules, how can you ever really tell if your Tinder date is a human, or just a sentient potato? Here are all the clues you need.

He is wrinkly.

Sure, his wrinkles could indicate that he is an elderly person, but if that skin looks like it could peel right off after spending 30 minutes wrapped in aluminum foil at 350 degrees Fahrenheit, you might need to ask a few questions. Like, "What soil is most conducive to a productive harvest?" or (more importantly) "What's it like being one of the most versatile starches known to man?"

He is spherical.

If his lack of arms and legs and general orb-like shape cause him to roll off of his chair with little to no control, you definitely have cause for concern. Think about it. This is just one date, but before you know it, the two of you could be tying the knot. Yeah, you'll get to walk down the aisle but he will have to roll! How embarrassing is that?

He cannot speak.

Have you ever met a talking potato? No. Mr. Potato Head does not count. (On the plus side, if he can't speak, he will be really good at keeping your deepest darkest secrets!)

He is covered in spuds.

Okay, fine. No one actually looks like the "After" photos in prescription acne medication commercials, and blemishes are just a part of the human condition. But if those blemishes look like they could've been connected to roots and burrowed underground, then this guy probably isn't human.

His Tinder profile pic is a potato.

That should've been a red flag before you even swiped right in the first place. Hey, maybe you were giving him the benefit of the doubt. How very noble of you!

Despite the evidence, chances are, this date with a sentient potato is most likely NOT the worst Tinder date you have ever had! Good luck out there, friends. You're going to need it.

Cover Image Credit: BellaNaija

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If You Catfish Your Boyfriend To 'Test' If He'll Cheat, The Problem In Your Relationship Is YOU

News Flash: this is why (when you aren't together anymore) he says you are crazy.

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Being in a relationship is not an easy feat. There are many things that are important to have a successful relationship. Trust, honesty, and loyalty are just a few to mention.

A few days ago I was scrolling through Facebook (does this show my age? oof) and came across a video: "CATFISHING my Boyfriend to see if he cheats.. (you won't believe this)" obviously I clicked on it because I was curious. The girl in the video talks about this 'prank' she's going to play on her boyfriend.

First wrong: This is not a prank.

She explains how she has made a fake Instagram account; She made posts using another girl's pictures, followed a bunch of people and then followed her boyfriend.

Second wrong: Using someone else's identity.

She then messaged her boyfriend using this fake Instagram account trying to persuade him into Netflix and chilling. When he replied saying she was cute she started to cry... It went on and on but basically, he ended up proving to her that he would not do that to her.

I'm sorry, WHAT?

OK, let's be real for a second. If you have any need to do this, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG. Trust, honesty, and loyalty are some of the most important things in a relationship... having the need to do this literally just shows that those three things do not exist. But for the sake of it, say you do it.

Only two things can happen...

Scenario one: He cheats (plans to cheat).

If this happens, it probably just proves something that you knew deep down and just didn't want to admit it. So you break up with him. Well, the other girl still exists, but he's going to find out it is you because she does not actually exist. So then you are the one to blame in his eyes because he "would have never done it", he "just thought it was you" and was "testing you". Either way, your relationship is over and has more issues than you already thought.

Scenario two: He does not cheat.

Congrats!!! He's not a cheater. BUT you have issues. You obviously have no trust and do not respect him enough to ask. You also are not being honest in the least bit because are you going to tell him? He will think you are crazy if you tell him. In addition to those issues, you have no sense of loyalty and must have had a reason to test his loyalty... you got a hill to climb.

Either way, you do not look that great and just make the "DUDE, SHE'S CRAZY" actually true. But you know, to each their own.

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