The passage of time has always scared me. I am one of those people who has never liked changed. Unfortunately, it happens and this past year things changed more than I could have ever thought. That's a cliche and anyone who knows me knows how much I hate cliches, but it's true. Freshman year is a year to adapt and that's what I did, but as a sophomore I was finally comfortable enough to start focusing on myself and the people I had chosen to surround myself with. I decided that I would do things that made me happy, instead of doing things so that people would like me. I decided that if I wanted to do something I would and if I didn't, I wouldn't. That sounds a bit shallow and selfish, but I think it made me realize what I really want in life.
My friends were a big part of the reason I was so much happier this year than last. I was one of the many people who thought about transferring, but I made two friends last semester that made last year worth it and I thought, "Okay, I can give this another shot." So I did. I moved into the same floor as them and I tried. I tried to be more involved in my sorority and make more friends and it worked, for the most part. I was a little happier than I was before and I was okay with that.
The situation changed drastically when my current roommate moved in. She was the catalyst for the change that was about to come and everything happened so quickly that I didn't even have time to be scared. She quickly merged into our friend group and soon I had people around me who pushed me to do things I wouldn't normally do. I made friends with people who I never thought I would be friends with -- from the girl in the quad next door to my best friends' littles, to the person who posts videos of turtles on my wall. I have always been a very singular person, but I realized that having people you can be yourself with makes for a much happier life.
Another thing that changed was that I spent my first semester without visiting home. That doesn't seem like a big accomplishment, but to me it is. I realized I could survive on my own, I don't need to, of course, but I can -- and that makes me proud of myself. I learned who I am outside of the family, and I hope that it's a person they are proud of. In being away, I appreciate them more than I ever have before, and I hope they know that I am who I am today because of them no matter how far away I am.
This year was an interesting one, but it is one that made me glad I stayed to see it through. It gave me the hope I needed to enjoy the last two years I have with the people around me. It made me excited for the future, and sad to say my goodbyes for the summer. I know that next year will be even better. I have never looked forward to change more than I do now.
