Chances are Tinder will give you carpal tunne syndrome before a Bae.
Reasons to delete your Tinder account:
1. You go to a small liberal arts university.
You will see the person you accidentally swiped right on in class, and they will not forget the fact that they messaged you with no reply in return. It will be awkward.
2. You take it too seriously.
Chances are, you will not find the love of your life on Tinder. If that is your ideal outcome of using this app--that clearly states "keep playing" when you get a match--you need to change your game plan.
3. You're losing sleep swiping.
Your thumb literally hurts. Stop it. Get yourself together. Go to bed.
4. You're going to see the person you thought you were talking to.
And it's going to make you mad. And you won't be able to say anything because you're just as guilty of being on Tinder.
5. You will run into your friend's significant other.
You knew they were a jerk, but now you have to be the bearer of bad news and send the screenshot of your best friend's boyfriend profile picture. The one where you can see her shoulder cropped out. Sigh.
6. You will run into your ex-significant other.
You'll both sarcastically match for a few laughs, but then it'll sink in how awkward it is and one of you will go to bed crying that night. It'll probably be you.
7. You will run into your brother or sister.
Ew.
8. People are weird.
Especially if you're a daredevil with an extreme age and distance range.
9. People are mean.
They will insult you if you don't reply to their booty calls.
10. Booty Calls.
9.5/10 messages are booty calls. Don't let them fool you.
11. You're in a sport or some other organization.
Your inbox will flood with lame pick up lines. Cue the "Ooh I think that I've found myself a cheerleader".
12. That profile that never seems to let you swipe left.
Swipe left and two days later he's back up? That kid that consistently deletes and remakes their Tinder account will never be worth your time, no matter what you're in the game for.
13. It might actually work out.
How are you going to explain to your mother how you met? You both were sexually attracted to each other and swiped yes while flipping through a deck of other potential baes?
14. Nothing good (hardly) ever comes out of Tinder.
It's hard to keep your fingers crossed when you're a swiping fiend.
May the odds be ever in your favor.
