If you opened this article thinking “oh, another ‘go feminism!!’ article, what else is new?” Go ahead and keep reading before you just scroll the page and exit the tab.

There’s been a lot of backlash recently on feminism with critiques that it has become too overbearing and demanding, as well as the establishment of many anti-feminist groups, one of the most popular being a group of men who call themselves meninists. The popular public opinion is that feminism is fine in theory, but has been taken too far, apparently, with the increasing campaigns against things men do and excessive, domineering public appearances.

I conducted a survey on my college campus, from which I got answers as to why people believe feminism has gotten “obnoxious.” These are direct quotes, and while they have given me permission to use them, the people I interviewed were promised the quotes would be presented anonymously.

• “I mean, women should have equal rights and be treated the same and given the same opportunities as men, but they [feminists] go over the top sometimes. They get super protective and paranoid for no reason when a guy does anything. ”

• “They [feminists] just need to calm down for a bit. Like, not all guys are trying to attack y’all all the time, you know?”

• “Neurotic! They [feminists] go off on people when they didn’t even do anything! They just misinterpret things and always assume the worst, I guess. They need to chill out a bit is all.”

• “They get so crazy and defensive all the time and go off on us [guys] when we just say or do something in a friendly way.”

And, honestly, those were the cleanest, kindest ones.

Let me tell you why that’s bullshit.

So let’s get one thing straight. Maybe we, feminists, are crazy, defensive, and protective because guys have made us feel that way. Who would’ve thought? Every time you say a girl is being “overly skeptical,” realize what is causing that.

You may think a hand around a girl’s waist is casual, but for her, in the past, it has led to her being grabbed and taken somewhere alone, and having those hands continuously all over her. You may think that calling out to a girl on the street and saying “ay mama! Nice ass, show me a smile?” is a compliment, if anything, and there’s no reason for her to rudely ignore you or grab her friend for help; however, the last time someone called out to her and she ignored it, she was insulted, called a “rude, mannerless bitch,” and was come after. Her only memory after being catcalled is running as fast as she could, only to still be hit, abused, and thrown down somewhere in the end. You may think that eyeing a girl or staring at her is harmless, but in the past, when someone looked at her like that, they wouldn’t stop doing so, nor did they let her go home. Those eyes were on her all night, whether she allowed it, much less liked it, or not. You may think telling a girl she’s sexy and everything you want to do to her is just fun and games, but the last time she heard that and declined, she learned that declining was not an option.

You might just read the above scenarios and think that such things happen due to creepy guys, and girls should acknowledge that, recover, and not be so crazy about all guys, but you will NEVER understand what those girls have gone through. You’ll never understand the fear shocking through a girl’s body as she tries to release herself of her assaulter's grip, and realizes there is no way out. You’ll never understand the pain she feels from being grasped so hard she starts bleeding, and yelling so loud her vocal chords might give out. You’ll never understand the speed her heart is racing at as she tried to figure out where she is, how to escape, and how to prepare for whatever is going to happen to her. You’ll never understand the thousand and one things going through her mind and her assaulter starts messing with her. You’ll never understand the pain, torturous agony, and distress she is feeling, but more importantly the helplessness and repulsive invasion of privacy, during her attack. You’ll never understand the wave of emotions she feels after being used, then abandoned, by her attacker, lying wherever he left her, unable to move, call for help, or even breathe. You’ll never be able to understand why she will never feel safe and clean again, and why she cannot even function in her daily life anymore. And you’ll never be able to understand why every. little. thing. after her experience makes her feel some type of way.

As much as I wish it wasn’t true, but all of those scenarios I described above (and more) have happened to girls right here on my college campus. These don’t even take into account that countless unreported sexual assaults and rapes that happen as frequently as weekly on most college campuses. So, the next time you think a girl is being unreasonable or overreacting, remember this. The next time you call a girl a “prude psycho” or “a crazy bitch” because she won’t play along with you, remember this. Before you make any assumptions about a girl’s actions in this context, remember this.