The best advice about relationships I was ever given was by my Dad. I know, advice about boys from a man? Psh, yeah right. But he gave me some tips that I will never ever forget. He told me, "never settle for anything less than how I treat your mom."
As I heard those words, I didn't really think much about them. I just kind of brushed them off. However, the next couple nights as I laid in bed at night I kept replaying the phrase in my head. It finally clicked. Why am I settling for anything less than that?
Life is too short to waste your time on people who don't care about you as much as you do about them. It's not worth it to put so much effort into one person who doesn't do the same for you. It leaves you feeling needy, unwanted and overall shitty. That is not how a relationship should make you feel.
You shouldn't feel that empty pit in your stomach, as if your feelings aren't important. What you should feel is butterflies and the feeling of appreciation and worth. Sure, a relationship does not define your self worth, but if you constantly feel unwanted and unappreciated by someone, your self worth seems to depreciate.
You deserve better. But what exactly does that mean? We've probably all heard those words before. But have we ever really realized what "better" actually means?
Better is a feeling of happiness, not just the one time your partner decides to do something nice for you, but all the time. It is feeling like you're wanted and appreciated. It's getting as much effort back as you put in. It's being chosen by your partner every single day. It's being respected and loved, no matter the circumstance.
Love is not just something you settle for because it's comfortable to be with that person. This person will affect who you are (possibly for the rest of your life). You have to ask yourself: do I want to live everyday exhausted, fighting for someone who wouldn't do the same, or do I want to put in mutual effort that puts a smile on my face every single day of my life?
You should never feel like you are hard to love, because eventually you'll begin to believe it. Eventually, you'll start to stop loving yourself. It's not worth it. You are so much more than that person considers you to be. Every ounce of your being deserves to be valued.
It will always be hard to say goodbye. However, if you are even questioning the way you are being treated, it might be better to just let go. Start doing things for you, start realizing that you are so much more than a toxic relationship. Goodbyes suck, but sticking around for someone who is wasting your time is even worse.
If a person cannot see all the amazing qualities you possess and/or doesn't bring the best out of you, they are not good for you. A person who only sees the worst in you is not a person who loves you.
Value yourself, make the decision that you deserve the world and never settle for anything less than that. It's so much better to be alone than to feel like you're unimportant. You should never just go through the motions of being in love. Instead, it should be an overwhelming feeling of emotion that overtakes you and makes you feel crazily happy every single day of your life.
