I was the girl in high school who was always wrapped up in her boyfriend. Not that it was a bad thing. My high school boyfriend was my best friend and it was nice to have someone thoughout the hard years of high school.
But, there were a lot of things I missed out on. Like having a strong group of women to hold me accountable and be true friends. I missed out on a lot of family time and I also didn't know how to stand up for myself.
But, as many do, my high school relationship came to an end my freshman year of college. I decided at that point that I would not even think about dating until I knew myself backward and forward and was confident in myself.
For me, that process, which is still on going, took a little over a year until I realized I could be happy in a new relationship.
These are the reasons I knew I was ready to take another crack at finding love a year after heart break.
1. I can speak up for myself.
They say communication is the most important thing in a relationship and in high school I didn't know how to do that. Now, it is easy for me to ask for help, know where I want to get dinner and even ask for what I want in terms of attention and affection.
2. My friends are more important to me.
I never had a best friend until college. Now that I know myself, I have found my girl soulmates. I am sure they are the reason I am so strong and I know they will be by my side no matter what. As much as I like a guy, my friendships are more important than a crush.
3. My career takes a priority.
School was always important, but now it means something to my future. Not just my future college. I take risks and apply for internships and harder classes. I don't worry about what my boyfriend will sa y- this is to benefit me and any time I spend for my future is so good for me.
4. I am more confident.
While compliments are nice, I have found confidence in myself beyond what a boy tells me. I know who I am and why that makes me a great person. I make choices that will make me feel good about myself and that makes me stronger.
5. A relationship is now a choice, not a necessity.
In high school, you feel like its the end of the world if you don't have a boyfriend or a date to the dance. But in college, whatever you do people will support you. So having a boyfriend in college means I chose to have someone in my life that makes me happy and I want to spend time with, not just to seem cool to other people.
All in all, in my year of being single I realized that the way I feel about myself and take charge of my own life makes me feel better and stronger. I knew I was ready for a new relationship because I could choose a person that was kind and smart and sweet. But most importantly, that I could choose a person who complimented the new and better me.
