Stop Telling Me I Have High Standards When I Just Want Men To Recognize My Worth

Stop Telling Me I Have High Standards When I Just Want Men To Recognize My Worth

I've figured out what I want and what I desire, and no one is going to tell me otherwise

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On my Twitter feed, I constantly see tweets about men reaching the 'bare minimum' for their girlfriends and wives. I get that it's cute when your boyfriend remembers little things about you or goes out of his way to do something for you. What's not cute is when you bend over backward for him and he throws a scrap of romance or appreciation every month your way. Have women lowered their standards so much that when your significant other dares to text you back or picks up takeout for you (after you probably begged him to), you deem him the most amazing guy in the world? That's not amazing if anything it should be a given. Your boyfriend giving you basic human rights and listening to you does not make him husband material.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people tell me I'm too picky, especially when it's about guys. I'm not going to sit here and apologize for recognizing my worth. I'm not going to be amazed by a man's capability to respond to a text message in a fashionable manner or remember whether or not that I like ranch. I deserve someone who knows all that and more; who surprises me not because I asked him but because he wants to. Women are giving men credit for things that they probably don't even know they're doing - I swear a cute boy could breathe and they'd somehow turn it into a personality trait.

Why are men allowed to have high standards but women have to over and over again settle for less? By the way, it's rarely a guy who tells me my standards are too high but rather my girl friends around me. It's as if they're trying to justify their shitty boyfriends! I mean why do you care so much if I prefer tall guys to short guys when I'm sure you did the same when you were looking for your significant other?

Why should I have to settle? Some of my girl friends did, and they're probably jealous at the fact I just won't. Some of them didn't, and yet they still say my standards are too high. I shouldn't have to fight for my boyfriend's attention or praise him every time he looks in my direction. If he's your boyfriend he should want to do that stuff anyway. With hook-up culture and the downfall of serious relationships, I think most college women think that if their boyfriend does the bare minimum then they're getting more than everyone who's friends with benefits isn't. Don't you understand that you are worth more than a boyfriend who sometimes remembers to text you back?

I'm not saying that you should be looking for a guy so specific to your standards that you ignore everyone else around you. I'm saying why isn't it okay to search for a guy that exceeds the bare minimum? Someone who I'm actually physically attracted to and makes me feel respected and loved. I've learned a lot from guys I've dated so I know what I want in a future partner. I'm done listening to people telling me to settle or lower my standards because, to be honest, my standards aren't even that high. It's not like I'm waiting for Chris Hemsworth look alike to fall in love with me (even though that be a dream come true). I just want more than the bare minimum, because I will give my future boyfriend more than an average relationship and I deserve the same.

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Stop Saying Your Friend 'Chose' Her Boyfriend Over You, The Pity Party Is Over

Your inability to be happy for others is getting old.

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First, let me start by saying that SOMETIMES this is what happens and you do get booted. However, most of the time when that happens your friend is in an unhealthy relationship and is being cut off from friends and family. If that is the case, you should get over yourself and be more concerned about your friends' safety and health than if you got “chosen" or not. If your friend has an awesome boyfriend and still outright disregards you and your feelings and chooses her boyfriend over you, then she was not your friend in the first place.

Now that that's cleared up, let's talk about how we as people should be kind and supportive and genuinely happy for those we claim to love.

So your friend that you do everything with got a boyfriend, things are going to change.

It's part of growing up. Your friendship dynamic is going to change. Instead of spending all weekend from Friday night to Sunday night together binge-watching Netflix and eating junk food you might only get a Saturday lunch and movie, a mani/pedi sometime during the week, or a late night hour-long phone call. Don't be bitter, don't try and make your friend feel guilty or even try to cut your friend out of your life just because you're not getting the attention that you want. Your friend cherishes your friendship and the guilt trip can make her feel so terrible about the fact she loves a boy and wants to spend time with him.

When you guilt your friend for spending time with her boyfriend, you become the one who chooses someone else over the friendship. You choose your own personal selfishness over the happiness of your friend.

You break your friend's heart when you give them this guilt trip.

She thought you wanted her to be happy, but now she feels miserable. She wants to be there for you but your angry, selfish bitterness is pushing her away, and the sad part is she feels it's her fault. Don't make your friend feel this way.

Your friend still wants to be your friend, she just now has someone she loves differently than she's ever loved someone before.

This person, her boyfriend, holds an extremely special part of her heart and has the potential to be her forever person, her future husband. Give them the space and peace of mind, knowing that you're supporting her through it all, to discover this!

The truth is, your friend wants to choose you both but you're the one who is not allowing her to do that. Examine your actions and thoughts and how you're treating your friend before you exclaim she was the one who ended the friendship.

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I'm Scared To Ask Boys To Hang Out Because Society Has Led Me To Believe That I'll Seem Desperate

Ladies, would you ask a man out?

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Let's get this all out, I'm an anxious person. I suffer from "slight" anxiety, I wouldn't say it's horrible, but I deal with it. Nerves, it's something I'm quite familiar with in life, nerves and I are friends, actually. I've dealt with "slight" anxiety for years and it has stopped me from doing many things, which I regret. My "slight" anxiety has reappeared once again in the situation involving the male gender.

I'm not going to act as I've never talked to boys before because I have and it's not the scariness things for me, but when it involves boys I like, it's a whole new situation. Once I start developing any sort of feelings for boys I like, I turn into an anxious mess. That over-thinking, can't say the right words, too scared to embarrass myself anxious mess.

Well recently, that anxious feeling mess of myself has undoubtedly come back to life in some shape or form with this one particular boy. I think it's time to dive into Aby's semi-complicated by not really complicated sort of, just being dramatic love life. So, there's this boy that I've found attractive for quite a while, it's great to admire from afar. I always knew he was there, we were friendly, and nothing really came from that until recently.

In the past month or so this boy has been giving me the most mixed signals I've ever had in my lifetime. Do you like me? Do you not? Are you flirting with me? Ae you just being friendly? I've liked many boys in my time, but I've never thought so much about what this one particular boy and what his deal is? It's been over a month and I still can't figure him or it out, so I've been thinking of doing something every girl is somewhat afraid of, asking a boy to hang out.

I know, it sounds so small and sort of dumb, but doing something like this petrifies and turns me into a nervous, anxious mess. I'll be one hundred percent honest that I want a summer fling, someone to do all those fun things together without the commitment of a boyfriend. It's the beginning of summer, which means I need to start sorting my options out right now.

Here's the issue, I want to ask him to hang out, but I'm scared to ask because I don't want to seem desperate at all. Society has led us to believe that men should be asking girls out instead of vice-versa. In all honesty, it's a bit messed up, but I've been led to believe that "guys ask girls out". So, I've always waited to be asked out because that's what society has taught me and that's what I've allowed.

Now, I'm preparing myself to ask this boy to hang out and I'm getting quite anxious, all the possibilities. What if he doesn't like me? Thinks I'm ugly? Figures out that I can't drive? Hates me? Thinks I'm annoying, oh gosh, the endless possibilities. One thing I know is that I have to try, so I'm going to be bold and ask him to hang out.

It's scary, I'm scared, but I'll never know if I don't try, which is true. Life is filled with mysteries and you won't know if you don't look, right? So, I'm going to get over my anxiety and just try, wish me luck in attempting to ask this boy to hang out.

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