20-years-old, well how did this happen. I always thought I was gonna be a kid forever. I realize now I'm no Peter Pan. As kids, we all can't wait to grow up. Don't misinterpret what I am saying, I always looked to the future with excitement to see what my future will be like, but I never really wanted to grow up. I had this manufactured conception in my mind that growing up comes with a dissolution of the innocent qualities that makes us all kids. Now with twenty being around the corner, it kind of brings a sense of sadness while still being excited for what the future holds.
I loved my childhood. Everything about it makes me greatly appreciate what and who was in my life. As a teenager my life revolved around fitting in, being relevant, and a fluctuating self-esteem. I had complete freedom without the true burdon of money, my future, and the road I am on. Life was simple. I can't help but drown in a feeling of nostalgia and I can't conjure up where the time went. It's frightening that the simple times are behind me and that I have to take life head on and enter my twenties.
As for regrets, I have none. I lived my life just the way thirteen year old me would have wanted. Yeah, every once in a while I consider if that choice was the right one but doesn't everyone. As a kid, I told myself a few things. First, do what makes you happy, do not fall into the ideas of the masses. Do not ignore your heart for money, for a safe and secure future. Take risks, even take leaps if it means following what you want to do, the right thing to do. Second, don't be one of those people who never leave your hometown. Live, explore, travel, do something different, be adventurous. Third, be happy. Don't look out for others people emotions 24/7 if it means you live your life in regret. Be happy even if it means you take one of those leaps. Fourth, keep in touch with family. Family will always be there. End of story. Fifth and most important, never lose sight of what makes you a kid. Never lose the qualities that people envy. When people get older they lose the qualities that make life brighter. Things like the ability to forgive, the infinite use of your imagination, and an ability to turn a dead end road into infinite possibilities. Don't lose what makes you humble and unique to the cruel and cold world that is reality.
I would like to believe thirteen year old Matt would be proud of who he became. With that in mind, I now realize there is nothing to fear or mourn about turning twenty. As long as I protect what made being a kid so amazing, nothing will change. The truth is, I will always be the same dorky, nerdy, overly goofy kid forever. That is simply who I am and not even a number can change that. So here I tell you that I look forward to turning twenty to see what life holds in store for me. As long as I remember who I am and where I came from, I will always be Matt.
