A Realistic Romance Comedy: Life's Not a Lifetime Movie

“Shi!,” I whispered exasperatedly “If you don’t get up off the ground right now…”

“Shhh B, I need to look convincing if he’s going to believe I’m actually passed out.” Shiloh, my best friend hurriedly whispers back to me. I’m starting to reconsider the best friend part.

“How do you even know that he’ll come over here?” I whisper-ask her.

“You,” she replies, “because of you. Now stop trying to make me giggle, I can’t look passed out if I get into one of my giggling fits,” she covertly chuckles.

“Oh shiny ponies on a rainbow, here he comes.” The he I’m referring to should be the doctor that Shiloh recognized from her stupid Doctors magazine (which she reads religiously) and determined to be just perfect for me at which point she decided the next best form of action would be to fake-pass-out on the sidewalk to get his attention, at which point he would be forced into conversation with, that’s right, me, the best friend of Ms. psycho girl on the sidewalk. But the doctor isn’t who I am referring to.

“Umm, is you’re friend okay?” He questions in an unsure tone. I can understand why he wouldn’t be sure considering we’re in full costume. Did I mention we work at a restaurant, a theme restaurant called Strange Happenings, which requires us to dress up differently depending on the month’s theme. This months’ theme is Cosmic Masquerade. I’m actually kind of surprised he isn’t more confused, with me wearing my neon electric blue glowing skirt and galaxy mask and Shi’s neon pink tutu and neon orange top, we make an interesting duo.

“Umm, yeah, I think she just got dizzy and decided that she needed a minute. . . ?” I reply in a questioning tone.

On first look, he kind of looks like an elf, but in a really good way. He’s totally Shi’s type, not so much mine. He kneels down and asks me, “What’s your friend’s name?”

“Shiloh,” I say, “Let me see if she’ll wake up.” I then proceed to gently pretend slap her and she opens her eyes after the second hit.

“Uhg, oh, I was out there for a minute wasn’t I?” She says.

“It appears so,” The still stranger replies.

“Oh, who are you?” Shi says in a hilariously surprised tone with a quizzical look on her face.

“I’m Ti,” he replies “I saw you over here and wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Oh, really?” Shi replies with attitude but also a bit of surprise in her tone.

“Yep,” he says and leaves the statement hanging.

I can tell by her look what I’m going to say next…“Shi, if you’re okay I’m going to go home…?” I leave the statement open ended.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” she waves me off, still looking at her new friend Ti.

As I walk away I hear Ti say “So do you want to get a coffee, maybe wake yourself up after your little nap?” and Shi’s subsequent giggle and affirmation.

As I walk the last couple blocks to my apartment building I wonder to myself what I want for dinner.