Social Media has done a fine job at creating materialistic and overrated, “#relationshipgoals” But let’s be honest, is that really how a really how a relationship should be especially in college?
College — the extra four plus years you spend in school trying to figure out what you are going to do for the rest of your life. You spend mucho amounts of money sitting in classes day after and day, and then what?
If any of you have read my previous posts, you know that I am big supporter of doing whatever you want, when you want in college. You are only 20-something once, and we have our whole lives to settle down.
Well in the last few months, I finally entered the “dating phase,” and I have left the beloved “talking phase” with a guy I been with for over a year. Don’t get me wrong, it is not a bad thing. I mean a year of “talking” kind of helps you figure out if a relationship is the next step or not. For us, it was, but you know why? Because our expectations of relationship goals are not pathetic and mainstream like you see on a sponsored Twitter page.
I mean what is wrong with “goals” that portray love and unity, trust, and promise.
Being Faithful.
If you choose to be in a committed relationship, then being faithful should be a given. If you don’t want to be faithful to one person then do not enter a committed relationship. It is that simple. It is not hard to just be honest and open with your significant other. This “goal” should be at the core of your relationship. Being faithful leads to every other “goal” talked about in this post.
Being a Friend.
You are not just a boyfriend or girlfriend. I mean that’s great, too. But you wear numerous hats in a relationship and being a friend is one of them. Sometimes a simple fist bump or a side hug is what they need. Be there for them. Show that you supportive. Show that you can joke around like one of the guys. Show them that you understand what it’s like to have cramps and feel like death one week of the month.
Personally, “the best friend” line is a little cliché, but knowing how to be a friend plus boyfriend or girlfriend really shows how one cares about the other person. It is important. Don’t look past this “goal.”
Learn to Compromise.
You are two different people, and I am strong believer in “opposites attract.” You are not going to agree on everything. There is going to be arguments and moments you question everything, but compromising makes you stronger. You learn so much about the other person when you compromise. You can easily learn something new or learn something you didn’t know about yourself if you compromise.
Learn to Communicate.
It doesn’t matter how hard it is to say something. Just say it. Don’t fib or push it off like it is nothing. Small issues become bigger ones when two people don’t communicate. He offended you? Tell him. She took a joke too far? Tell her. Only positive things can come from communicating with each other on a regular basis.
Be supportive of the other’s dreams and aspirations.
There is no guarantee that the relationship you are in right now is going to last for years. Your dreams and aspirations are very important in this stage in your life. It is not a bad thing if you both go your separate ways because your dreams are leading you in opposite directions. That is the reality of “relationship goals” in college, it may not work out. But you both should want to try. You both should be with each other because your dreams and goals are similar. It is good to talk about the future because you have to figure out how to get there.
Respect him or her.
Everyone is entitled to their “bad days.” A relationship isn’t all happy as depicted through their Instagram captions. It takes a lot of work, and each person has to respect one another or the relationship becomes pointless. Your relationship should make you a better person than you were before. A better friend, a better sibling, a better girlfriend or boyfriend- all because you are giving and receiving respect. It makes you appreciate the little things.
Trust with your whole heart until you have a reason not to.
It is hard, I know. You hear the horror stories of what happens when alcohol, loud music and a Frat House all mix together, but you have to trust your person until they give you a reason not to. The best decision I ever made was moving away from my hometown and spending my college years elsewhere. College is time when you find yourself, and trusting your significant other is way for them to find themselves, too. Don’t hold them back because you are comparing them to your ex or your friend’s ex. Trust each other and there will be no issue. Your relationship will actually be enjoyable.
Relationships take a lot of effort and time, but in your heart it should be worth it. He or she should be worth it. That’s real #relationshipgoals.
