You see the cute graphics everywhere nowadays. It lets you know the ridiculous expectations you should have for a relationship. First off, your partner should be PERFECT the moment you decide to spend the rest of your life with them. Not to mention, you both need to have traveled the world, know exactly how many kids you want, be in a solid career, and be able to buy each other lavish gifts for no reason, at least half of the time.
Most relationships generally don’t go this way but I do wonder if the expectations we set for others is blurring our ability to see people’s flaws and, crazy enough, love them anyway! I get it, sometimes those flaws are hard to take and no one is saying you should settle. But if the reason you’re dumping person after person is based solely on trivial things, you might just be overthinking this a bit.
I’m married myself and it’s certainly not easy. We may bug each other sometimes but seeing my husband’s flaws has never made me feel like I settled or like he isn’t good enough for me. This is because we have what I consider the basic qualities of a great relationship. No we aren’t perfect, but thanks to the list below, we hardly ever fight. If you’re trying to figure out what a great relationship looks like, this little guide may help. Or not, you could always just live life solo. That’s cool too.
1. You Have Mutual Respect
This one should be obvious. Even if you fight sometimes and don’t always agree, there should be a mutual respect that exists between the two of you. No one should ever cross a line, aka abuse. You both should have enough respect to leave each other alone when it’s necessary, BOTH of you should be willing to apologize, and there needs to be a strong form of open communication. At the end of the day, if you respect each other in the way you both need, you’re doing really well.
2. You Have A Financial Understanding
I can’t emphasize this enough. There needs to be an understanding between the two of you, at all stages of the relationship concerning money. Whether you keep everything separate or prefer to mix it all together, that needs to be straightened out before you completely commit to each other. Everyone already knows this is the number one reason for divorce. Don’t be that couple that opens credit cards randomly, doesn’t talk about debt, and has one person in full control of finances all of the time. This is a team effort and a tough one at that. Keep this topic of conversation going…always.
3. You Agree On Animals
If you’re animal people, you better know from the get-go the number of acceptable pets, how large/small they can be, and who prefers what. As an example, my husband and I are both dog people. However, I’m also a cat person but my husband is not. If I came home with a cat he would flip out. Also, if I came home with another dog right this moment he would probably be irritated, but would quickly accept the new addition because that would make three dogs. However, if one of us brought home a fourth, it would throw off the ecosystem of the home and we would likely bicker non-stop over it. I wish I was kidding about this one but I’m not. Have an agreement on this subject, seriously.
4. You're Both Genuinely Happy
Okay, this isn’t an easy one. I can’t tell you what it means or spell out what it’s like to be truly happy with someone. It’s just something you have to figure out on your own. But trust me, as ridiculous as it sounds, you’ll know. You may not know when you meet them for the first time or even when you’re dating. But if you’re happy together, you’ll both figure that out. I promise. Just don’t rush it. No matter what anyone else says, happiness and love don’t *usually* happen overnight.
Think this list is too short? That might be because you’re thinking WAY too hard about this. After the things I’ve already listed, qualities for a great relationship depend on the people in it. If you aren’t happy, then leave. However, if you’re happy with your significant other, but are thinking about breaking up with them just because you hate how often they say the word ‘dude’, you may be overreacting.
Life isn’t perfect and no individual or couple is either. Trust me when I say that I know it’s not easy nowadays. It’s actually really nice that our generation doesn’t feel forced to settle down. Just don’t let your ego and #MillennialCliches get in the way of your own happiness, okay?
