The miracle of birth is a wonderful event. From a single cell, a body starts to form into what will eventually be a person after being delivered into the sweet air of this great life. Although this event may be beautiful in its own ways, the products aren't always such. You see, many people who create a child like to show them off. They go on and on about how cute their baby is and expect everyone to agree. However, I'm here to bring the harsh truth that your baby may not be a cute baby. That's right, ugly babies do exist and your baby might be one of them. You and the rest of the world need to know that this is okay.
It's okay, though, this is not the case for everyone (especially this baby).
You have to know through all of this that the ugly status of your baby is not your fault. Genetics is a cruel mistress sometimes and has no regard for whether your baby will be a hit for the Christmas cards or not. I know, it's messed up. But this is about your baby's chance ugliness, not your DNA. Plus your baby may even grow up to be an attractive adult. However, it is not right for you to blindly praise your baby as the cutest baby in the world. Placing your child on a pedestal is dangerous for their health because they are prone to fall off, literally and metaphorically because babies have no sense of balance and they are mortal. There's no way that they can stay "the most adorable baby in the entire world" for their whole life, considering they will most likely grow up to be an average-looking human being.
Don't soil your diaper, you'll be just fine.
Additionally, you are putting the integrity of your friendships on the line when your friends are forced to lie to you about how cute your baby is. If you enjoy the company of other people and you have a baby, they will most likely be polite and ask to see a picture if they aren't already in the presence of the baby. When they see the baby, they are socially obligated by friendship rules to tell you that your baby is adorable no matter how ugly this baby may be unless they are one of the people who doesn't care about your disillusionment surrounding your baby. By forcing this lie upon them, you are making it easier for them to lie to you again because it's easy to commit a crime once you've already done it before. This eventually leads to entire interactions being founded on lies, such as when you have a conversation about who the baby looks like because then it becomes a game of "Who's the Ugly Parent".
Even if the baby isn't biologically both of the parents' kids, their friends must lie about the cuteness level of the baby because they don't want to question their friends' choice of a life-changing character. Similarly, lies will pervade interactions between these friends because talking about a baby's cuteness is a go-to conversation point about the baby considering the only things they do are cry, feed, sleep, possibly giggle and be cute (if they can), the cuteness being the most positive action they have under their little diaper belts.
Unless this is their squad.
I understand you feel that people may be attacking you or your baby by stating this, but you must understand that human babies can be ugly. It's a fact of life. Ugly babies exist and, by the cruel hands of The Fates, you may be given such a baby. That doesn't mean that they will always be this way and they will hopefully go on to be happy and successful in life however they define it. But, for now, recognizing that they aren't the cutest baby in the world and accepting it will be beneficial to your own relationships and your new child's life. If you want to see cute babies, just Google animal babies - they're much better than human ones.
Seriously, how could a human even hope to compete with this?
