If there's one thing that I've learned in my almost 19 years of life, it's that life will throw you some major curveballs. You may feel as if you have all of your shit together and then five minutes later, your life can turn so upside down. In any situation, it can be the easy choice to isolate yourself, drown your sorrows with weed and alcohol, skip class, restrict your food intake, and the list can go on. These negative coping mechanisms cannot and will not help you become a better human, and the harder choice is to go do the work to make yourself better.
Alongside this, I fully believe that it is possible to be doing well and be doing terrible simultaneously. And as confusing as this feeling can be, it is perfectly normal. Emotions are weird and that is simply a fact of life. I was listening to a podcast earlier where the host was interviewing one of her old college professors. He said something that really stood out to me, "Go down every single person in your contact list and ask them how they are truly doing on a scale of 1-10." And yes obviously, do not text everyone in your phone but take a minute to think about the people in your life who you have leaned on for support and vice versa. Check in on them regularly and often. You might rekindle an old friendship or relationship, and at the very least you might have a nice conversation.
I know this is all over the place, but to be fully transparent that is how I am feeling these days. College is hard, life is hard, but check up on your people. Please go call your mom, dad, grandma, cousin, sister, brother, dog, best friend, whatever. Life can really, really fucking suck sometimes but the small good moments are always there if you make the effort to look.