I am the best at coming up with New Year's resolutions. Especially when it comes to weight loss. I plan it out and I stick to it! Last year, I told myself I was going to lose 50 pounds. I started off by buying that membership to a gym and I actually went with the 1000 other "new" customers to Planet Fitness. I bought all healthy foods. I meal prepped. I did it all. And man, I kicked butt for the first several weeks of the New Year. During those first couple of weeks in January, I would dare anyone to try and test me with staying focused on my goals for the new year. I was unstoppable.
But something went terrible wrong. I have a late January birthday and around that time is when I started to resort back to my old ways. I told myself that I'd only treat myself for my birthday weekend and then I'd get right back at it. After all, I was doing so good the first couple weeks of this new me, why not treat myself? Needless to say, I struggled to get back into my routine.
It wasn't very long though. I mean it was only 11 months. I wanted to make sure I was ready to get back into it and be sure that I was ready to stay focused. I'm good now so no worries, but I had a few things come up after my birthday and I just now got back in a groove.
I mean there was my birthday weekend that started it all off and then came Valentine's Day, which really took a lot out of me. I mean you try being single and chubby for Valentines Day, it's a lot of work. Plus I had a couple of Holidays since then. I had the 4th of July, Halloween, and Christmas to name a few. The list goes on. And to top it all off, I had classes the whole spring and fall semester. I'm not making excuses, but these things just came up... I think I handled them wisely. I mean I eventually got back into my healthy routine. In the grand scheme of things, 11 months is a drop in the bucket.
Now I have a whole new ideology when it comes to New Year's resolutions. I am going to do some reverse psychology on myself. I am going to set a goal of gaining weight for this New Year's! That's right, I plan to gain 35 pounds. This all works out good in my favor. If I actually gain 35 pounds, then I stuck to my resolution and therefore did better than people who didn't. It's a win-win! How can you be mad at someone for doing good in their life? For completing their goals?
I know it sounds too genius to come out of such a young mind, but think about it. If you set a resolution to lose that 35 pounds and you fail, that only makes you depressed. And once you get depressed then you'll gain even more weight than you tried to lose! That also means that you'll have to go see a psychiatrist because your depression is so intense. Then the psychiatrist puts you on medicine to help with your depression. And the medicine requires that you take it with food and you end up eating more from that. And when you eat more, you gain more weight- It's an endless cycle.
This New Year's, I ask my readers to make the smart choice. Think your resolution out and enjoy your life. Fight that depression by eating. Cheeseburgers are good. Ice cream is good. Dr. Pepper is delicious. Don't fight what your body is telling you. Stick to what your "gut" is saying and kick start the New Year off right. Carpe Foodiem!
