Some women wake up in the morning with the refreshing glow of a full eight hours of sleep, and some wake up with dark circles and a puddle of drool on their pillow. Let’s face it, there’s usually no in between. But, who’s to say one is better than the other? If you wake up with a youthful glow, good for you! And those of you who don’t, that’s perfectly okay too! I’m proud of my dark circles, blemishes and unruly hair in the morning. Therefore, I’m proud to say that I love to wear makeup. I love waking up with this blank canvas full of perfectly imperfect features and being able to create something even more beautiful. If you don’t like that, this is for you.
To those who don’t understand,
I can see where you’re coming from. I may seem like a crazy person when I wake up fifteen minutes early in the morning just so I can perfect my makeup. I may seem out of my mind when you realize I can’t walk past a Sephora without spending fifty dollars. And you’ll probably think I’m nuts when you see how overflowing my makeup bag is. I don’t expect you to understand, though.
As a young girl, just like most girls, I was very self-conscious. I had acne, uneven skin tones and dark circles under my eyes. I wore my hair in front of my face in an effort to hide my “flaws” from the world. I let the mean boys in history class make fun of me and call me names. However, after months upon months of tearing myself down, I was introduced to an angel. This angel came in the form of a woman in white lab coat at the Clinique counter. She tried swatches of foundation on my skin and swiped the huge fluffy brush on my cheek bones. She matched me up with the perfect colors and formulas and sent me on my way. From that moment on, my self-concept had changed. I went from the young girl hiding her face from the world, to the middle schooler posting selfies (which weren’t technically called selfies yet at that point… I don’t think?) to show off my beautiful features.
Now, I’m not saying that makeup made me beautiful. I had those beautiful features way before I started wearing makeup. But, those features were being silenced. They were silenced because of my insecurities. I hated the dark circles under my eyes, so I tried not to look anyone in the eye and draw attention to them. However, this kept people from seeing my beautiful dark brown eyes. I hated the pimples on my forehead and the blotchy red tones that sometimes ended up on my face. Therefore, I cut side bangs and practically glued them to my forehead, and I wore my hair pushed in my face all the time. This kept people from seeing the beauty I had underneath all of that hair.
Once I started wearing makeup, it was a game changer. I could mute those red tones with the swipe of a brush, I could cover up the pimples in less than ten seconds, and I could make my eyes feel bright and beautiful again. With the power to do all of this, I felt strong and happy again. But, I didn’t put on my makeup for the boys in history class. As a matter of fact, I didn’t put on my makeup for other people at all. I did it so I could look in the mirror and love myself again.
Today, despite the occasional breakout, I don’t have acne problems anymore. I finally allowed my face to see the rays of the sun, so I don’t have completely uneven skin tones. (Although I will admit, I do not have a perfect complexion. But who does?) And the dark circles have become a beloved part of my face, signifying the hard work I’ve put in to make me so tired and still be going so strong! However, I still love wearing makeup. It makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel beautiful. Most importantly, it makes me feel confident.
I know you may not understand why I would put so much time and effort into my appearance. But next time you think about asking me this question, or teasing me for caring so much, just think about it for a second: Am I doing this for you?
Love,
Beautiful Me
