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What Really Goes On At An Office Job

And 10 inner thoughts of an office employee

Jul 01, 2019

A few weeks ago, I started working at a company as a finance intern, and I'm super grateful for the experience, especially because I'm not the "coffee and copies" intern. I'm lucky enough to have multiple real projects that I get to work on simultaneously, I'm learning a lot, and I'm kept pretty busy the majority of the time.

THAT BEING SAID: I get up at 6:45 Monday through Friday and look at Excel for six hours a day. And I'm gonna be honest, there is the occasional time where my brain is jell-o and all I can do is stare at my empty coffee cup trying to manifest a refill. During these times, every small thought I have that breaks me from the never ending cycle of Excel becomes like the biggest part of my day. I began writing a list of these moments and thoughts, mostly to make fun of myself when I got home so I could appreciate just how trivial they actually are. However, the list has gotten pretty ridiculous, so I thought it'd be fun to share it.

So here's a little peak of my daily thoughts at my first office job:

1. I ask myself this: why are computers so advanced yet you still can't rename a file while it's still open? Follow up question, why is the human brain so advanced yet I cannot for the life of me REMEMBER that you can't rename a file while it's still open?

2. My cubicle has a recycling bin INSIDE of it and this makes me superior to everyone who has to walk across the room to use the communal recycling bin. This is a fact.

3. Today I decided I will henceforth ONLY write on sticky notes in elaborative cursive.

4. I have looked up the "bullet journal" typical font and am making an edit to number three. I will henceforth only write on sticky notes in BULLET JOURNAL level elaborate cursive.

5. Apparently all I care about are sticky notes. Today I was waiting for an email and subconsciously figured out the different pressure required for my thumb to change the volume of the sound that occurs when I flip through my sticky notes. I preceded to do this for seven minutes.

6. I have moved on from sticky notes and am onto highlighters. The mail room highlighters got RESTOCKED and I have taken two of each color in case we have another drought any time soon. We will be adding color coding to my bullet journal cursive sticky note requirement.

7. After many unfortunate failed attempts, I have finally figured out the perfect time to go on my lunch break so that I can sit in the break room alone, put in my headphones, and completely zone out from the world. The time to clock out is somewhere between 11:32-11:35. Any time before that and you get "round two" for coffee drinkers. Any time after that and you have to have lunch with 50% of the office.

8. I now have a deep understanding and connection with the security guard. He wears his emotions and tiredness level on his sleeve, but I can now guess correctly even before I see his face. When he looks up to say good morning as I walk in the main door, he has "peak caffeination/what a time to be alive/I'm getting that fucking MONEY" energy. When he doesn't look up until I reach his desk, he's got pure "I was up all night thinking about the state of our country and the fact that no one cares about the polar bears or climate change" kind of energy. I try to give him an even bigger smile on those days.

9. Today I realized I'm never gonna master this cursive if I don't start doing it in different sizes. So now I will henceforth also be using this font as the headings for my notes.

10. I just sent a request to schedule a meeting and I had to send it to the automated email address of the conference room I was trying to book. Last time it rejected me so quick and even though it's the automated response of a conference room, I was low key hurt. But today Miss Fresno-Sequoia Conference Room accepted me and I am feeling like the SHIT!!! I will no longer be taking any attitude from Miss Fresno-Sierra Conference Room thank you very much.

BONUS ONE: So it's been about a month and I have yet to master the appropriate "keep the door open" distance. On top of that, people are stealthy as hell here and today, unfortunately, I couldn't hear the person behind me. Little did I know they were my advisor and were RIGHT behind me and I let the door SHUT IN THEIR FACE. So basically, this list is over because I have to resign.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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What Really Goes On At An Office Job

And 10 inner thoughts of an office employee

1. I ask myself this: why are computers so advanced yet you still can't rename a file while it's still open? Follow up question, why is the human brain so advanced yet I cannot for the life of me REMEMBER that you can't rename a file while it's still open?

2. My cubicle has a recycling bin INSIDE of it and this makes me superior to everyone who has to walk across the room to use the communal recycling bin. This is a fact.

3. Today I decided I will henceforth ONLY write on sticky notes in elaborative cursive.

4. I have looked up the "bullet journal" typical font and am making an edit to number three. I will henceforth only write on sticky notes in BULLET JOURNAL level elaborate cursive.

5. Apparently all I care about are sticky notes. Today I was waiting for an email and subconsciously figured out the different pressure required for my thumb to change the volume of the sound that occurs when I flip through my sticky notes. I preceded to do this for seven minutes.

​6. I have moved on from sticky notes and am onto highlighters. The mail room highlighters got RESTOCKED and I have taken two of each color in case we have another drought any time soon. We will be adding color coding to my bullet journal cursive sticky note requirement.

9. Today I realized I'm never gonna master this cursive if I don't start doing it in different sizes. So now I will henceforth also be using this font as the headings for my notes.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

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15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

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18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

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Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

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6. I have moved on from sticky notes and am onto highlighters. The mail room highlighters got RESTOCKED and I have taken two of each color in case we have another drought any time soon. We will be adding color coding to my bullet journal cursive sticky note requirement.

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