A Letter To The Grinch Who Stole My Christmas

A Letter To The Grinch Who Stole My Christmas

I hope you realize that you've taken the only thing someone was looking forward to. xoxo

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I use to adore Christmas and everything it was about. As I've gotten older, I have noticed myself becoming more and more depressed when this time of year comes around. This year will be the second year in the last six that I am unable to go home to family. Thankfully, I can keep myself busy with two of my three jobs, and that I have my two fur children with me, but it won't be as happy as I had hoped.

Christmas time can be very hard for some people and not everybody shows it. I am not one to ever really let anyone in but I am also not someone afraid to show my emotions. Watching families come together and create memories is always hard for me to do because I would give anything to be able to just sit in the same room with my family even just for a day. The last time I saw them was in August and they literally drove two days from Louisiana to North Dakota just to bring me things for my classroom and then stay for 24 hours just to drive back home again. I thought that would put my heart at ease but it really just made me even more anxious to go home again.

Like everyone, we all think "home for the holidays," but when airline tickets cost as much as a months rent, it's not always possible. I found out I wasn't able to go home in early November and was crushed. Thankfully, I have a family that I talk to everyday and they check up on me like it's their day job. That's what a military family does, we care deeply about each other so you would think that a Christmas apart would be easy. Wrong, it's the toughest thing I have EVER been through. In my 24 years of life, we have only not been together TWICE. Thanksgiving is another story but Christmas was always the four of us together. Even when my dad was Active Duty Air Force, we were never apart on Christmas Eve or day. I wouldn't know what to do at that young of an age if I didn't have both of my parents with me.

My mom was bummed when I couldn't come home, but she wanted to make sure I had gifts to open on Christmas morning. I was so excited that I was going to get to Facetime them and open gifts just like if I was at home. I told her what I wanted, she went shopping and shipped me the box. In the week leading up to my box arriving, I cleaned out my bank account to afford my bills, I didn't have enough to afford groceries so I am living off of hamburger helper in small portions, and I was over charged on my rent. This package was going to be my saving grace, the one hope I had left about this season and everything it stands for. I was ready for something great to happen.

My Package never made it to me, so I have a few things to say to the person who decided to steal my Christmas hope.

Dear Grinch,

Why did you feel the need to do this? You live in my building with me, you have probably seen many packages worth more than this sit at my doorstep for hours before I came home to get them. Why this one? What worth does it have to you to take the presents my family got for me? I hope you're enjoying them and having the time of your life. I know they're just things, but to me; they were my everything. I was going to open them with my family to make it feel as though I was home with them again because my depression is getting bad again and I need even the smallest amount of light to get me through this season. Taking someone's Christmas gifts is lower than low. I would've rather you have taken one of the boxes of makeup I received from Limelife than something from "Mom and Dad." If the person who took them wants to return them, I'd be thrilled; but as of now, I am just assuming I'll have a Christmas with nothing under my tree. I am not going to ask my parents to repurchase things and resend them in fear you will strike again. I just hope you really needed them more than I did.

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Dear Mom, Now That I'm Older

A letter to the woman who made me the woman I am today.
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Dear Mom,

Now that I'm older, I definitely appreciate you a lot more than I did as a kid. I appreciate the little things, from the random text messages to constantly tagging me on Facebook in your "funny" photos and sending me pins of stuff I like on Pinterest. Now that I'm older, I can look back and realize that everything I am is all because of you. You've made me strong but realize it's okay to cry. You've shown me how a mother gives everything to her children to give them a better life than she had, even when she's left with nothing. And, most importantly you've taught me to never give up and without this, I would not be where I am today.

Mom, now that I'm older, I realize that you're the best friend I'm ever going to have. You cheer me on when I try new things and support me in deciding to be whatever person I want to be. Thank you for never telling me I can't do something and helping me figure out ways to be the best woman I can be. Your love for me is unconditional. They say true, unconditional love can only come from God, but mom, I think you're a pretty close second.

SEE ALSO: An Open Letter To The Cool Mom

Now that I'm older, I don't get to see you as much. But not seeing you as much just makes the times I do get to see you the absolute best, and I look forward to it every time. Now that I'm older, I'm not going to live at home. But, I promise to always come back because I know the door is always open. Your house is always going to be my home, and no other place is going to be the same.

Now that I'm older, I realize how much I miss you taking care of me. I miss you making me dinner, making sure I was doing well in school, and taking me to endless appointments. I miss you waking me up for school and then waking me up again because I didn't listen the first time.

But, Mom, now that I'm older, I can see all that you've done for me. I can look back and see how big of a brat I was but you still loved me (and let me live) anyways. I can understand why you did certain things and frankly, you're one bada** of a woman.

To have you as my mom and my best friend has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. So, Mom, now that I'm older, thank you, for everything.

Love,

Your Daughter

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This Is What Being Away From Home Taught Me About My Home

... It's ok to make plans with people besides your mom.

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My home, for as long as I can remember, has been my safe haven. No matter how many arguments my family and I got into, I always knew my home to be a place where I could feel safe, at peace, grounded, and most importantly, comfortable.

This is why, when I decided to embark on a journey to Israel, 6,000 miles away felt like I was traveling into space. I felt as if I couldn't move forward without my mom by my side, reminding me everything is going to be okay. The relationship that my mom and I have is a special one, and knowing that I was not in close proximity to her created much-unwanted anxiety for us both. Knowing that while she may have only been a phone call away, that she wouldn't be able to come hold me if I needed her to, was something I really struggled with.

While I was away, I had hoped that my excitement for the trip and the adventures that were to come would keep me grounded and sane. Unfortunately, as the days went on, I became more and more homesick. However, I was able to learn some really important lessons in terms of the importance of my home, and sometimes the need to escape it.


The new friendships I made showed me that sometimes it's okay to make plans with people besides your mom (only partially joking).

The new foods I tried showed me that there are so many different types of foods that my chef of a mother hasn't even heard of.

The new experiences showed me just how important it is to step out of my comfort zone, even if doing so means I have to be 6,000 miles away from the comfort of my mom's arms.


There are hundreds of thousands of things that this trip has taught me, but it especially taught me that life exists away from your home as well. While it is natural to want to stay close to the things that bring you comfort, it is also essential that you allow yourself to grow.

I couldn't be luckier to have had such an incredible experience abroad, but I also couldn't be luckier to have been able to come home to a mom that was waiting with open arms and open ears.

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