Read This Instead Of Unpacking

Read This Instead Of Unpacking

Once again promoting the practice of procrastination for all young collegiate folk.

Carefully crossing the ravaged threshold of my trashed shack, I heard the shuffling of tiny feet over the newspapers I had put down over the wooden floors when it rained so they would not become warped and saturated. The light had stopped flickering. Just then, something pounced onto my back, shoving me to the ground.

“Ouch!” I yelped.

The person on top of me just exhaled deeply.


She had been my best friend since I learned how to walk. She had wavy, jet black hair and behind her mask were striking emerald green eyes. Her mask had a black blob coming down from the center of the forehead and extending down the right side of the face and ending in the corner just above the chin. The lips of the mask were painted light pink, like mine, and everyone else’s. Everyone’s masks were white and black, or white and grey. The only touch of color was the lip shade. Samara’s mask was not the worst mask I had ever seen. Mine, on the other hand, was so dull and ordinary. I had a grey upside down triangle shooting out of the forehead, two black lines across the cheek bones like the African peoples’ war paint I had seen in some of my grandmother’s old National Geographic magazines, and a single dark dot on the left corner above the mouth like a mole or beauty mark.

I could see Samara’s eyes squint up, indicating she was smiling.

“How did it go?” She wondered, helping me to my feet. She was quite a bit shorter than I, but none of our people were short by any means. We typically towered over the superiors in height.

I shrugged, making my over to the grungy old couch that had more off-patterned patches than a maid’s clothing. But when your furniture store is a Junk Yard, you take what you can find. I slumped down onto the cushions. I never felt comfortable on that couch. It took me forever to get situated in a position I could stand.

“I didn’t go through with it,” I replied shamefully.

“What?!” Samara erupted. “Why not?”

“I-I don’t know. I just couldn’t bring myself to crashing their party.”

She crossed her arms. “Not even with your great grandmother’s life at stake?”

I shot her a look. “Why don’t you try breaking half of the rules all in one night and see if you can go through with it while keeping a clear conscience?”

Samara didn’t say anything. Of course I wanted my great grandmother back; I didn’t need her pointing it out all the time. But I wanted to get her back lawfully. I wanted the board to give her back.

Too bad that was not going to happen arbitrarily.

Samara took a seat beside me. She put her hand on my knee.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered. “Look, we can think of another way.”

I sighed, “If I let you continue to help me, you could be getting yourself into more trouble than I’m worth.” Which was little to nothing. I had nothing to lose by getting caught and being punished with a few more years with my mask, even though it was atrocious. I had no family, none except for my grandmother, and no real ties to anything or anyone. Samara was my only friend.

Samara had everything to lose. She had a family – two parents and two siblings, all of whom loved her dearly. She was even engaged. Her father had promised her to the son of his neighbor back when Samara was three years old. If she hadn’t been a hopeless romantic, she would have been totally against the whole arranged marriage thing. Luckily, she and Blade were friends before they started thinking about each other in the terms of love. As for me, no one showed interest in that department.

She snorted. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” She threw an arm around my shoulders. “You think I care about getting in trouble? You think I’m scared of a little danger? I laugh when faced with danger.” Samara let out an over-exaggerated maniacal laugh. I smiled. “If you think for one minute, Aurora Vice, that I am letting you go through this alone, you have another thing coming!”

Suddenly, we heard rasping at the window. Our heads shot in that direction. Through the window of my tiny home, Blade Grover – Samara’s fiancée – stuck his head in. His mask was decorated with one half entirely grey with black lips instead of pink. Samara squealed at the sight of him. I couldn’t tell if it was an excited squeal or a scared squeal.

“Did you do it?” Blade asked me, without paying any mind to his girlfriend.

I shook my head. “No.”

He gave Samara a critical look. She waved her hand at him.

“Don’t pay any attention to him. He was born judgmental.” She cocked her head back and winked at him.

I wanted to change the subject. Thinking about my grandmother would only depress me more. I yearned to know how she was doing in the asylum, if anything had changed, if she had changed.

“Where are you two heading off to?” I asked as Samara rose from the couch. She walked over to the window and tousled Blade’s messy black hair.

“Don’t know, yet,” Blade responded.

“We’re sneaking off,” she told me then turned her head back to Blade. “We don’t need to have a set destination.”

“I think you’re a bad influence on my girl, Aurora.” Blade teased. “She used to be such a goody-toe-shoes.”

If I could have seen Samara’s mouth, it probably would have been gaped open.

“When have I ever been a goody-toe-shoes in my life??” she exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes then waved my hand at them, motioning for them to get out of here. “Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Blade and Samara exchanged looks. “So, nothing,” they said in unison. I smirked at them and their couple cuteness. Blade held out his arms and she climbed into them. He scooped her out of the window. And then I was alone.

I leaned back on the dingy old couch, placing my head on the arm. I stared up at the flakey ceiling that was leaking and falling apart, and would probably collapse on me within the next year or so. But the material things did not matter.

I’ll find a way to get you back, Grandma. I said to myself. I promise.

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50 Quotes from the Best Vines

If you're picturing the vines in your head, you're doing it right

In 2017 we had to say goodbye to one of the best websites to ever roam the internet: Vine. In case you have been living under a rock since 2013, Vine was -(sad face)- a website and app that took the internet and the app store by storm in Winter 2013. It contained 6-second videos that were mostly comedy- but there were other genres including music, sports, cool tricks and different trends. Vine stars would get together and plan out a vine and film it till they got it right.

It was owned by Twitter and it was shut down because of so many reasons; the viners were leaving and making money from Youtube, there was simply no money in it and Twitter wanted us to suffer.

There's been a ton of threads on Twitter of everyone's favorite vines so I thought I'd jump in and share some of my favorites. So without further ado, here are some quotes of vines that most vine fanatics would know.

1. "AHH...Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant"

2. "Nate how are those chicken strips?" "F%#K YA CHICKEN STRIPS.....F%#K ya chicken strips!"

3. "Road work ahead? Uh Yea, I sure hope it does"

4. "Happy Crimus...." "It's crismun..." "Merry crisis" "Merry chrysler"

5. "...Hi Welcome to Chili's"

6. "HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?" "THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!.."

7."Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looordd"

8. Hi my name's Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow. Well I'm a point guard, I got shoe game..."

9. "It's a avocadooo...thanks"

10. "Yo how much money do you have?" "69 cents" "AYE you know what that means?" "I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets"

11. "Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla."

12. "Hey Tara you want some?" "This b*%th empty. YEET!"

13. "Get to Del Taco. They got a new thing called Freesha-- Free-- Freeshavaca do"

14. "Mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick"

15. "Two brooss chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay"

16. "Jared can you read number 23 for the class?" "No I cannot.... What up I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never f#@%in learned how to read."

17. "Not to be racist or anything but Asian people SSUUGHHH"

18. 18. "I wanna be a cowboy baby... I wanna be a cowboy baby"

19. "Hey, I'm lesbian" "I thought you were American"

20. "I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag" "you spilled- whaghwhha- lipstick in my Valentino White bag?"

21. "What's better than this? Guys bein dudes"

22. "How'd you get these bumps? ya got eggzma?" "I got what?" "You got eggzma?"

23. "WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?" "THEY are my crocs!"

24. "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?"

25. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAVEN!" "I can't sweem"

26. "Say Coloradoo" "I'M A GIRAFFE!!"

27. "How much did you pay for that taco?" Aight yo you know this boys got his free tacoo"

28. *Birds chirping* "Tweekle Tweekle"

29. "Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal"

30. "I brought you Frankincense" "Thank you" "I brought you Myrrh" "Thank you" "Mur-dur" ""

31. "Sleep? I don't know about's summertime" "You ain't go to bed?" "Oh she caught me"

32. "All I wanna tell you is school's not important... Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog...RUFF. You know?"33. "Oh I like ya accent where you from?" "I'm Liberian" "Oh, my bad *whispering* I like your accent..."

34. "Next Please" "Hello" "Sir, this is a mug shot" "A mug shot? I don't even drink coffee"

35. "Hey did you happen to go to class last week?" "I have never missed a class"

36. "Go ahead and introduce yourselves" "My name is Michael with a B and I've been afraid of insects my entire-" "Stop, stop, stop. Where?" "Hmm?" "Where's the B?" "There's a bee?"

37. "There's only one thing worse than a rapist...Boom" "A child" "No"

38. "Later mom. What's up me and my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker...GIVE ME MY HAT BACK JORDAN! DO YOU WANNA SEE UNCLE KRACKER OR NO?

39. "Dad look, it's the good kush." This is the dollar store, how good can it be?"

40. "Zach stop...Zach stop...You're gonna get in trouble. Zach"

41. "CHRIS! Is that a weed? "No this is a crayon-" I'm calling the police" *puts 911 into microwave* "911 what's your emergency"

42. "WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? "

43. *Blowing vape on table* * cameraman blows it away* "ADAM"

44. "Would you like the spider in your hand?" "Yea" "Say please" "Please" *puts spider in hand* *screams*

45. "Oh hi, thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garrbaagge"

46. *girl blows vape* "...WoW"

47. *running* "...Daddy?" "Do I look like-?"

48. *Pours water onto girl's face" "Hello?"

49. "Wait oh yes wait a minute Mr. Postman" "HaaaAHH"

50. "...And they were roommates" "Mah God they were roommates"

I could literally go on forever because I just reference vines on a daily basis. Rest in peace Vine

Cover Image Credit: Vine

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7 Reasons To Get Excited For The Orlando Fringe Festival

Aside from the obvious draw of 100+ shows to choose from, there are so many more reasons to check it out.

The Orlando Fringe Festival is a two-week performing arts extravaganza featuring all kinds of acts from this city and others. It is also the longest-running theater festival in the United States, so it’s had plenty of time to get great. If you want the basics on how to attend, there is an article in the Orlando Sentinel that breaks it down for first-timers. But as we gear up for what is basically Coachella for theater nerds, here are just a few more things to get jazzed about.

1. You’ll finally be able to support your artist friends.

We all have that friend who is constantly involved in some sort of production. Of course you’d love to go and see them all, but who has the time? At Fringe, there are plenty of chances to see a show, since there are performances at many different times for two weeks. And if you have a lot of friends who are performers in Orlando, then I have good news! They will all be in the same place.

2. Two words: food trucks.

There is pretty much no other time when it is socially acceptable to eat a bunch of fried Oreos than at a carnival or at Fringe. Carnivals seem dangerous though, so you might as well just hang out at Fringe, where it’s safe.

3. There’s something for everyone.

Even if theater isn’t your thing, there are more than just a few alternative options available. You can also find concerts, stand up comedy, storytelling, and a whole lot of things that will make you say, “I didn’t know that was a thing."

4. This year, planning is easy.

In their 27th year, the Orlando Fringe has introduced a new way to plan which shows to see. The Fringe-o-Matic allows you to input the shows you’re interested in and create a personalized schedule so you can make it to (almost) all of them.

5. You’ll never have to travel far.

Most of the shows at Fringe are located in or around Loch Haven Park, and venues include the Orlando Shakespeare Theater, the Orlando Repertory Theatre and the Orlando Museum of Art. These are all within walking distance of each other, and are separated only by a parking lot (which, by the way, is free to use). The only other shows are BYOV, or Bring Your Own Venue, in multiple locations in Orlando.

6. It’s not just local acts.

Maybe if you’re an Orlando native, you’re a little tired of the local scene. This festival includes production companies from lots of other states and countries, so it’s a great opportunity to see fresh faces and shows that are the best of their respective locale.

7. Things will get weird.

Even if you’re a veteran Fringe-goer, you’re definitely in for a quite a few surprises. Last year, I saw a Canadian male burlesque troupe led by a Justin Trudeau impersonator (caution: link NSFW), and it wasn’t even the craziest thing that happened.

The Orlando Fringe Festival runs from May 15th to the 28th, so it’s right around the corner. It’s all happening so fast! But if you’re not hyped yet, maybe you should take a trip to the beer tent.

Cover Image Credit: Orlando Fringe

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