The other day, I went to the gym for the first time in many months. I have a membership card that has been doing nothing but collecting dust, and with the new year, I decided to get my lazy butt up and lose some weight (or try to; we’ll see.) I know that that’s not the most original resolution, but that’s what I want to do for myself in the coming year. I expected the gym to be a little busier than usual, since it’s the first week of resolution season, and it was. What I didn’t expect, though, was the attitude of the regular gym goers toward the new members.

As I walked in, I held the door for two kids that were coming up behind me. When I was a hitting the gym regularly, I would see them there every single time I went, spending hours on workouts. So, you know, regular gym goers. As they approached the desk to check in, and employee was signing an older, rounder gentleman up for his membership. I gave him an encouraging smile (it takes a lot of effort to even get started, sometimes), but I heard one of the kids behind me mutter “Why is he even bothering?” Although the comment was unheard by the gentleman, I was offended for him. I snapped my head around and said “That’s rude,” before scanning my gym card and marching to the locker room.

When I emerged from the locker room, I noticed a couple of girls my age standing by the stair machine, smirking at a girl on the treadmill who was very obviously struggling. It took everything in me to not grab those girls by their ponytails and throw them to the ground. Who made them the fitness queens? When I got to the strength training area, I saw an old man struggling to figure out one of the machines. I also saw an able-bodied man watching him as if he was an entertainment TV show. I walked over to the man, smiled, and asked if he wanted me to help him. A smile of relief spread over his face and he said, “Yes, please! I’m not as sharp as I once was,” and I wanted to hug him right then and there. I then glared at the man who was watching and shook my head, and he turned away quickly. “Good luck!” I said to the old man, then went about my workout.

And it’s not just at the gym that this negativity is running rampant. All over my Facebook and Twitter feeds, avid gym goers are complaining about new members or making fun of people for trying to turn their lives around. One tweet claimed that “resolution week ruins gyms;” if that’s the case, buy your own equipment and stay home: no one wants your negativity attitude anyway.

Here’s the thing: it’s amazing for anyone to decide to make themselves better by any means. Life changes come in small steps, and so what if the first step is the first of the year resolution? We should be proud of each other for trying to look and feel better instead of being, well, assholes about it. Stop judging people, and start helping them. That should be one of our resolutions for life.