15 Things I Would Rather Hold Than A Boy's Hand

Let's be honest here boys are bad news. Most guys my age are complete fuckboys and all they wanna do is get in your pants. They start off all friendly and shy and all then BOOM, it goes from hand-holding to a no pants dance-off. But being Sarah, and being difficult I never let it get to the hand holding because let's be real I have better things to be holding than your diseased hands. Here are 15 things I would rather hold than a boys hand.

1. An extra ranch for my chicken nuggets.

2. A 10-foot snake.

3. A poisonous spider.

4. An empty container of McDonald's french fries.

5. An iPhone with a shattered screen.

6. An Android phone.

7. A really dirty diaper.

8. A stranger's used dental floss.

9. A nursing homes patients dentures.

10. Men's smelly sports equipment.

11. A decaf coffee.

12. A girl's lost weave.

13. Gym socks.

14. A piece of chewed food.

15. A piece of really moody cheese.

I would have said trash but boys are trash.