If there was anything that I had learned in the last two decades of my life... it would be keeping my circle tight. And yes, I'm talking about friends and the people that I surround myself with on a daily basis. It was when I realized that I had to stop pretending to be someone that I'm not in order to fit in and have people to call "friends." Even though the heartache and the disappointment that came with it wasn't beneficial. It was then that I finally learned that in life, you have to be alone once in awhile in order to be strong. Because at the end of the day there was actually something so oddly satisfying about being on your own.
The road to this path of contentment wasn't so easy, but it was rather bumpy. I lost myself in the midst of wanting to have people, just so I don't feel so alone. I wanted to be one of those girls with a bunch of friends that all hung out on weekends and then brag about it on social media... "insert clever caption." It was pure immaturity on my part that I allow myself to be hurt. How? Because I personally believed that if I happen to give and give and give maybe it will all come back to me and maybe, just maybe, I'll get something back that was just as good as I was giving. Maybe if I continue denying the truth that I can just pull through and be alright.
But I'm so over that phase. It's nothing but crap. True friends will come to you because these are the people that will be there for you no matter what... these are the actual people who have the decency to be good friends. You cannot force situations and expect people to give the same amount of time and effort if they truly aren't meant to be.
Perhaps, everything happens for a reason. You are meant to learn from them at the end of the day. And if you see yourself being in this type of friendship, then you owe yourself the freedom to walk away and be happy. Find the people who really care about you, and bring the best in you. There's a reason for everything, so always remember that.
Over the years I've learned that I am a loner, I enjoy my own company. I learned to count on myself more rather than depending on people. I'm living for me. I mean don't get me wrong, college has brought me some true friends and I am beyond blessed to have them in my life. They're the type of friends who have the same mindset as me, which had me questioning why I didn't meet them sooner.
It's better to have true friends that you can count on your fingers because that's all you'll ever need in life. Find the friends who will never give up on you. The ones who always pick you up whenever you're down...and you can fall a lot of times without them minding it. Find the ones who you can text at 2 a.m. and rant about how you really hate something at the moment. Look for the friend who can just jam out with you on some old tunes then you end up going on a bunch of shenanigans and wake up the next day saying "well that escalated quickly". And when you do find them... Don't ever let them go. Because true friends are hard to come by nowadays. But always keep in mind...Keep your circle tight.
