I am 22-years-old and the most interesting thing about me is that I rarely drink. I say that because all too often I get asked why I am not drinking. It is one of the first things people notice about me at parties.

I will never forget when I was a senior in high school and my friend was visiting from college, and he told me that as long as I held a beer in my hand at social gatherings I would be "fine." But I wouldn't be fine because I didn't want to have to be drinking something I disliked the taste of, and oftentimes made me drowsy or gave me a headache, just to be approachable.

"You don't drink much, do you?"

"[insert reason here as to why I don't drink], right?"

"Come on, if you're not drinking, you're not doing it right!"

It is socially perplexing and moderately unacceptable to abstain from alcohol at parties. There is a sense of camaraderie and togetherness that is sealed with alcohol. I'm not one to be swayed by what everyone else is doing, but every so often, I find myself wondering why it seems so offensive to drink water instead of vodka.

The idea that a person must be a stick in the mud if they are not elated to drink enforces our intolerance of certain social behaviors.

I'm not arguing for or against drinking alcohol, but I am wondering why it has become the symbol of all things fun, decadence, relaxation, and letting lose while simultaneously representing carelessness, recklessness, and masked pain, insecurity, or stress.

For many, drinking is the much-needed action to take the edge off modern living. It looks like laughing and falling over your friends in a haze of joy and bliss. For others, it is a social lubricant. It looks like a nervous nelly on the inside becoming Nelly on the outside.

I think the question is more nuanced -- how could I socialize without drinking when people are drinking is a sign of being comfortable? What does it say about me that I don't enjoy drinking in excess or otherwise? It is tough to explain to people who are drinking why I'm not drinking because there seems to be an innate sense that somehow I think I am above them or that I do not know how to have fun.

I understand the allure of a bar. It sets a great scene. Typically, dim lighting, (loud) music, lots of people chatting, and a socially secure setting. Bars are natural and entertaining places to meet people and step out of a comfort zone.

It's deceptive to think that alcohol is the way to social invincibility.

This is the norm at a certain age -- to go out, drink, and connect with people. Sixteen-year-olds aspire to get there and forty-year-olds remember staying up late and drinking with their friends.

At the end of the day, we have an impression of what it means to go out and drink and that is not changing anytime soon, but I wonder if there are more creative ways to break the ice than to pour a glass. Maybe the path out of our comfort zones can come about through other means. I love the way champagne is used to toast a celebration or wine is used to take in the Sabbath. It adds meaning and specialness to life, but black out drunk seems to subtract from the experience of living.

We have built a culture around drinking, but I wish it were dessert-eating or tea-sipping. Who wants some cake and a milkshake instead?