It is so important for people to realize the difference between rape and regret.
There has been an unspoken, blurred line between the two when there shouldn't be. Society has warped the idea of unwanted sexual advances to simply mean that a person "regrets" what had happened to them, especially if there is alcohol involved. However, it is so important to know that if you did NOT want to have sex with a person (or engage in any type of sexual activity with a person) and that other person still proceeds, knowing that they did not gain consent from you; it is rape.
Rape occurs when consent is not given from both parties involved during sexual activity. I feel as though there may be a group of people out there, who have been sexually assaulted and have not reported due to the fact that they don't realize that what had happened is considered rape. Sex should not happen if there has been any consumption of alcohol. But in reality, that's never going to stop happening.
So, my suggestion to the sexually active people out there: please be careful and be aware that you always have a choice to say no. It doesn't mean that you can't have sex after a night of drinking or it'll automatically be considered rape, just know yourself and make sure there is clear consent from yourself and your partner.
If you ever feel a slight hesitation on whether or not you regret engaging in sexual activity, ask yourself three simple questions:
1. Did I feel forced by the other person?
2. Did I have to talk myself into going through with it?
3. Did I want it to stop at any point?
If you ever answer yes to any of these questions, please reach out to someone. Although, it may be uncomfortable to consider the possibility of being taken advantage of, it's important. You should never have to convince yourself that you were obligated to have sex with the person that bought you that drink, or drove you home, or danced with you all night.
On the other hand, just because you regret a decision, doesn't necessarily make it rape. Rape is serious. Outwardly claiming you have been raped by someone can, and will, alter your life. By reporting, you will change the life of the person you are making the claim against. Although, it's hard to make these decisions and weigh what may or may not have happened, that's why it's best to reach out to people you can talk to, to help lead you to make your decision.
Just remember: consent is consent, and no one else can give it besides you.
