I'm a survivor of rape. I say "survivor" instead of "victim" because I refuse to give any more power to the man who raped me. You see, two years ago he made a choice to try and take my power away and I refuse to let him do that for even a second longer. It was April 16, 2014. I made the decision to go hang out with someone I thought was a friend, and that was my mistake. But what happened after I arrived at his place was not my mistake; it was his malicious intent and wrongdoing. He raped me, plain and simple. What's worse? I felt like I had done something wrong. Hell, I was made to believe that I had done something wrong. My best friend urged me to go to the emergency room, report it and get an examination and rape kit. So I did. It was one of the most painful and humiliating experiences of my life. From the second I got to the hospital, I was treated like I had done the crime. I was questioned by the front desk, the triage nurse, the doctors and even the detectives. "What were you wearing?" "Were you sober?" "Did you do anything to incite the incident?" "Did you lead him on?" The worst question of all was, "Are you lying because you regret it or because you're embarrassed?" When I was asked that, I felt as though the world was crumbling down around me. I felt like I had been shot. I felt betrayed. Betrayed by our society, betrayed by the law enforcement—the people who took an oath to serve and protect. I was betrayed by the world because of rape culture. I was victim-blamed, and I felt the lowest I have ever felt in my entire life.

Later, when I went to the North Little Rock Police Department to give my sworn statement and do my interview, I was informed that it was a "he said, she said" case and that it wouldn't be pursued, nor would any charges be pressed. I was completely devastated. The system had more than let me down, it had drop-kicked me. Here I was, two days after having my security and consent violently taken away from me, being told that even though I did my part and reported it, I wouldn't receive even a semblance of justice. No day in court, my attacker left free to continue his life like nothing had ever happened. I had text messages proving that I had told him that I didn't want anything sexual happening in any way, yet when he was interviewed by the detectives he said, "I didn't know I was raping her, I thought she was only playing hard to get." To this day, they still haven't even run my rape kit. The detective never returned any of my phone calls.

The reason I'm telling my story isn't for pity, nor is it for personal gain or to receive attention. My reason is simply to expose the complete injustice that is rape culture, to take my power back and to encourage other rape and sexual assault survivors to come forward. Just because my attacker never saw any consequences for his actions doesn't mean that yours won't. Just because the system failed me doesn't mean it will fail you. There's power in reporting your attack, no matter the outcome.

There's power in telling your story, in having your voice heard. There is power in being free from the shame, in being open and honest about the horrendous act you were put through. Please, if you have been through a rape or assault of any kind, regardless of your gender, reach out, get help, report it, do something. It's the first step to taking your power back. It's the first step towards making sure that your attacker can't take anything else from you. It's the first step towards healing and regaining peace of mind. It's the first step towards putting yourself back together.