*Content Warning*
With the whole Brock Turner thing sweeping the nation, and quite possibly the world - thanks Internet, it's been a lot harder for me to deal with my trauma. I was in an extremely abusive relationship - mentally, emotionally, sexually - for a few months. It's been hard to come to terms with the fact that I was sexually abused. Because of this ~great~ thing called rape culture, I have been conditioned to think that even though I verbally said yes and changed my mind, but didn't verbalize this change, that is not assault. And according to Judge Aaron Persky, even if I did verbalize my change of mind, it still wouldn't be assault... I mean, if raping someone behind a dumpster isn't rape, than by the transitive property (sorry to bring some mathematical theorem into this), there's no WAY that my relationship was in any way, shape or form abusive.
And my head has been in this spiral of rape culture, completely invalidating everything I've ever known to be true about that relationship. I've been fed with lies about what sexual assault is, what rape is, what "consensual" sex is. There is no such thing as consensual sex. This post describes it perfectly:
So why does rape culture exist? Why should Brock Turner's trial be something we should talk about? Why don't we talk about eliminating rape culture. Maybe that's why we're talking about Turner. Why we're trying to recall Judge Persky. Why we're furious about Turner's father's statement about his son's "20 minutes of action."
We need to stop victim blaming. We need to stop making the perpetrator the victim - just because Turner can't eat his rib-eye steak doesn't mean he's suffering. We're blaming women for wearing what they want to wear. We're accusing women of "asking for it" just because they wear shorts in summer. This graphic by Kendra on Tumblr hits the nail on the head:
We excuse things because "boys will be boys." We're not teaching boys how not to rape someone, we're teaching girls how to avoid getting raped. It's 2016. Why does rape culture still exist? We're sending girls home from schools because "took much shoulder is showing." Because shoulders are ~so~ attractive that if a boy catches one glimpse of skin, he's not going to be able to concentrate in class. His studies are ~so~ important that we have to make girls skip class to go home and change. But if a boy comes into school with a shirt on that says, "Fuck bitches, get money," the administration doesn't bat an eyelash. Double standards, much?
One of my favorite videos that shows just how ridiculous school dress codes are is made by my favorite, Kristin Chirico. For a week, she dressed according to certain dress codes around the US. Check out that video here to see just how much school districts are adding to rape culture.
Again. It's 2016. Can someone please tell me why rape culture still exists? Why women are deemed lesser than men by the court system? It's 2016. This shit is disgusting. Something needs to change.
