I've always been dubbed 'the positive one' in my group of friends, the one who always has the drive to follow my dreams and work for what I want. Sometimes, it's hard. It's hard to keep a positive vibe for everyone. Like, it feels wrong to be able to be sad or upset. People say to me "Oh, you shouldn't be stressed, you have nothing to worry about, you'll do just fine."

In reality, yeah, I am stressed, because I'm always held to the standard of being a positive person. I have my days where I just want to cry because nothing in my life is going right or going okay. For example, with my family, it's all about having a job, but nobody understands how hard it is to find a job in a college town, because there are over 20,000 kids looking for jobs to help pay for rent, food, clothes, bills, and extra stuff. Right now, I just want to hug that one person. I just want that one person to hold me and to tell me everything is going to be okay. Because right now, I feel like everything is crumbling down.

Lately, I've been able to have amazing opportunities in the career field I want to going into after I finish school in a year and a half. I'm so grateful for that. If your wondering what field it is, it is music. Going into this field, you need to have a ton of connections and friends in the business. You want to have as many job shadowing opportunities as possible. Going into the music business, you don't really have to have a degree in anything, but it looks ten times better if you do. It doesn't matter what your major was, just that you do have a degree and graduate college.

Like with anything, I've had some experiences where I was used for the connections I had. Recently, I saw someone I used to call a "friend," who's not in college getting a degree, get an opportunity that I had been working my ass off trying to get. It made me super upset knowing that here I am, getting my education, paying my dues, and starting from the bottom, and I still didn't get it. I spend up to six hours a week looking up information, calling management companies, and emailing them as well, to try to connect with people and get the experience I need to put on a resume for a professional job. This is on top of the 15 credit hours I'm taking, as well as getting a new job. I spend those six hours doing that because I'm trying to get into a field I absolutely love and would give absolutely anything to be in. I'm so tired of seeing people who aren't furthering their education and paying their dues getting the same opportunities that have gotten. But like I said, I'm so grateful for the opportunities that I've gotten. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I wanted to post this because I feel like, in college, we all have this kind of a rant hit us at some point. I usually don't write out my rants, but I feel like you all should know it's not just you who had this rant or rants similar to this.

I'm not much of a writer either, I'm more of a songwriter, with my feelings. Today, I came across a set of lyrics that I had written over the summer when I was at camp. They were "Right now things are how they're supposed to be/This is God's plan he made for me/ Everything is perfect/Everything is going right/But there's just one thing missing out of my life/Nothing's set in stone/Nothing's gonna be perfect/It's just another chapter in the book that they call life." After reading these lyrics again, it reminded me that even though everything may seem perfect, nothing will ever be perfect. As much as we wish it would be, it's not. I hope this may have help some of you, but I figured I'd leave y'all with this: "be who we wanna be, NOT who we gotta be."