When your son or daughter starts to sleep through the night, it’s a marvelous feeling for twenty-four hours. But once you start to notice he or she is no longer dependent on your midnight feedings, or midnight cuddling, it hits you. Your child is growing. After that twenty-four-hour time frame, you start to miss the schedule of getting up twice a night so much so that your body naturally will wake up even when you don’t want to. At least this is the change that happened with my daughter. She started sleeping through the night, very young too, around six months. I miss her constantly wanting to cuddle.
Maybe it’s a mother thing, buut I do still try to cuddle with her any chance I get. But of course then I get the independence of her pushing me away, squealing and running away. I find it hard to cope late at night knowing she would rather be in her own bed than snuggling up to Mama. But I also find a sense of pride knowing that I did something right for the first time in my life. Who else went through the teething stages early? My daughter has 4 teeth up top, 2 on bottom and 2 molars growing on top. She is in profound pain right now. Her behaviors are absolutely bizarre, from biting everything from her ankle, to my leg, to her stuffed animals, and her pillow. She’s also pulling her hair, and my hair. She looks a little funny with only her 2 bottom teeth. But she is so cute.
When changes happen with a toddler in the house, it’s almost like they know. My daughter, the mind reader I swear. If I come home after a long day she will look me in the eyes and just stare at me like ‘Mama, it’s going to be okay in the end.’ And you know what? I need to start saying out loud, “Yes, L. It is going to be okay.” The trouble with parenting is that there are going to be hard times and the best of times.
Recently, I have been going through some semi-hard times. My Significant Other had lost his job a few months back, and even though he bounced back severely quickly, there was still that transition period of no income on his behalf. That set us back a month. Two months later, we still haven’t caught up. The entire rent payment is going to have to come from my daughter’s funds, and that’s not fair for her. That money shouldn’t JUST be going to a roof over her head. It should also be going to her clothing, snacks and miscellaneous stuff.
I definitely feel like we all have had those days where your child bites you, and your cat meows constantly for hours. The laundry isn’t done. The bathroom needs to be cleaned. The dishes need to be done. Don’t forget to take the garbage out, and to vacuum. I feel like the chores pile up for days on end. My fiancé does a wonderful job of relieving half of my duties. But I still have them, and they still happen to overload at times. This past week, my significant other and I discovered a family of flies living in our bottom floor apartment. It was absolutely disgusting. But I picked up some Raid, and it appears to be okay. They are slowly dying. The point being here is that life happens more often than not, and we all must remember to remain calm.
Although at times I still feel like I could be doing a better job for myself and my family, I sigh and just know it’s okay because we have a roof over our head. We have food on the table, and we have a very happy spoiled little girl. She’s spoiled with love and gratitude, not the gifts and extra necessities out of life. I am starting a new job, and I will be able to support my daughter better with this job. I am so thankful for finding this company that I started on with. The flexibility is absolutely wonderful, and the compensation is generous. I am looking forward to being able to learn and acquire more skills as a C.N.A. Although, I am going to miss all the friends I have made at Boston Financial Data Services. I am looking forward to this new opportunity with MAS Medical Staffing.
The point being here is that as parents, we go through so many things. We're constantly busy, so we can't just relax and live stress free like said Doctors would like. Although we try, it doesn't always end that way. My daughter deserves the best, and that's what she will get, even if it takes me 18 years to give her the life she deserves - she will get it. I won't allow her to be subject to a lame life, unless she wants to be. I know that I didn't have the option to go on family vacations, so that's the first thing we are doing as a family. We started a tradition of going to Connecticut every August. We plan to continue it throughout her childhood and hopefully thereafter. Reminding yourself to breathe isn't easy, but it's managing.
