To My Fellow Adopted Friends:
You are enough.
As I begin my downwards spiral into adulthood (yikes, I had to pick out my own microwave yesterday...) -- and I only say downwards, because it's so very scary being on your own -- I have had a whirlwind adventure living in Florida, while also being Asian.
Now, I know what you're thinking! People aren't racist towards Asians... or in Florida and the southern states, people are only racist towards immigrants and black people! While that alone is extremely racist, let me tell you people: Racism towards Asians is very real.
In my first two years of college at the University of Alabama, I never felt racism like that in my entire life. Sure, I've had the math joke thrown at me and the thick Vietnamese accent thwarted my way, but never have I experienced blatant racism such as that in my life. Albeit, being raised in California, the racism there was not as apparent and I grew up ignorant as ever. Oblivious to the hardships Asians face in America, I thought everything was picture perfect. I was so lucky to hail from Pasadena, California where our biggest concern was the horrific traffic on the 210 towards San Bernadino after 3pm. I am so thankful for having been able to express myself growing up, because it has helped mold me to the woman I am striving to be.
I guess I should mention another thing. (If you haven't read my other articles, this will be a nice reminder.)
I was adopted at 18 months from Vietnam. My parents are white, my siblings are white (minus my second brother who is black. He was adopted from Ethiopia). Most of my friends are white. In fact, my best friend since the second grade is just about the most pale girl I've ever met. My love for her though, has been unwavering. Anyway, the point is, growing up in Pasadena surrounded me in a vast majority of white people. It was fantastic.
But cut to college, where UA is predominately white, I was rudely awakened to the fact that my kind was either seen as: foreign or wild. There was no in between. In my two years of college there, I can't recall ONE DAY when someone did not tell/ask me if I:
1) Spoke English
or
2) Wanted to party it up.
Why? Why was I asked those things?
The benefit of the doubt would be that yes, most Asians I had encountered at UA were foreign exchange students. And for those I did speak to, a lot of them did like to go out, because they were not allowed to do so growing up or what not. BUT that does not mean you are allowed to generalize the Asian population. Oh no.
I remember clearly, I was sitting in the math lab and someone next to me asked me about math. I said, "I don't know," and the look of shock on their face is something I'll never be able to forget. They assumed I knew how to solve their problems just because I was Asian. That's not how that works people. I don't know how to solve your math problems.
Even a cop, A COP, assumed I was foreign! I couldn't believe it, but the worst thing that had ever happened to me at that university was being told I was basically, not Asian enough.
A person in my English class my second semester of sophomore year told me: "But you were adopted by whites. And you're bad at math, so I guess you're a sucky Asian." And they had themselves a good laugh after that.
No one else was laughing.
So, let me get one thing clear for every person of color who was adopted: You are enough. You are you. You are imperfectly you. Do not let anybody take that away from you.
If you were adopted into a white family like I was, it's going to be difficult, struggling with the confusion of different skin from your mother. I didn't recognize the struggle until college, but it is so very real. Eventually, you're going to question your place in your family, because you simply do not look alike and you simply:
Do not share the same struggles as your family.
And God knows you'll want to talk to them, but the bottom line is that your struggles being of color, will not ever be the same as your friends, family, teachers, and classmates who are white.
Do not let anyone take that away from you.
I am Asian, I am Vietnamese, and I am proud of my ethnicity. I am unbelievably proud to be from Vietnam, and I am unbelievable proud to be a part of a family who loves me no matter what. We are better and stronger, because of our different roots.
But, just because have our different roots does not mean we are better and stronger, than each other.
Just because my brother grew up in a family of a lot of white people, does not mean he is any less from Ethiopia. He is black. He is tall, and handsome, and strangely, very good at math. But just because he grew up with white people, does not mean he is any less black.
We are valid, our ethnicity is valid no matter where we grew up or how we were raised. Don't take that away from us.
PS: buying a microwave was not a scary as I thought it would be, although having to live by myself, on my own with my own microwave, is unbelievably terrifying. But I cannot wait!
