When we meet Rachel in season one of "Friends," she is an entitled brat running from her wedding to a man she doesn’t love. In some ways, Rachel maintains her girly, shopping-obsessed, hair-trend-setting self throughout the 10 seasons that follow, but in many ways, she is the character that grows the most, and the character I most admire on this show.
Rachel knows how to say what she wants, and how to go get it. In season four, Rachel applies for a position as an assistant buyer at Bloomingdale’s. When her boss throws her under the bus in the interview, Rachel goes into her office and asks for an explanation.
“Now, just to brief you” she begins, “I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.”
Yes, it’s a sitcom, and this is intended to be a funny moment of Rachel falling apart when her boss acts crazy, but, to me, this is one of the realest moments of this show.
There are so many reasons that this moment and this scene feels important to me. For one thing, it aired in 1997, nearly 20 years ago and yet the position Rachel finds herself in–that of a woman in a business world who takes it upon herself to step forward and ask for what she wants, calling out her boss on inappropriate behavior in the process–is as real today as it was then. Despite the distinctly 90s style of her suit and the office’s décor, this scene transcends time, or maybe, better put, it highlights the fact that as much progress as the past 20 years have brought for women in the workplace, we still have a long way to go.
Beyond the matter of time, Rachel shows weakness in this scene without ever compromising her position of power in doing what is right, and without ever actually appearing weak.
Yes, she starts to cry. Her throat cracks and the pitch of her voice goes way up, but she doesn’t apologize. She tells her boss that the tears are “just of me having this discussion with you,” and continues on with what she needs to say. As someone who cries easily when I’m mad, when I’m tired, when I’m nervous, and really when there’s no reason at all, Rachel provided words that I’ve been looking for for years. She owns up to the fact that, yes, she is crying, and moves on.
Ultimately, she gets what she wants (well, sort of). Her boss admits to her wrongdoing, and offers Rachel the position that she wants and knows she deserves. Because this is “Friends,” it of course all falls apart a few scenes later, but the fact is that this scene is still so important to all young women who feel overlooked or cast aside in their workplace.
While there are many other points at which Rachel shows herself to be an incredible character (don't get me started on her whole marriage plan and how she still kicks ass when it's blown apart), and, fictional or not, someone young people can look to, this scene particularly strikes me as an incredibly important moment that could easily go unnoticed amidst the other 235 episodes of this show.
Even if she may still be the girly-girl of the crew, there is so much more to Rachel and she brings a lot to the show, and the viewers like myself, who can see a bit of themselves in her.
