funny quotes

On a daily basis, people say a load of ridiculous phrases. Things you overhear without context, things that stick with you that for some reason you don't forget.

One of my roommates recently overheard one college girl say to another, "Why are we showering?" out of context. My roommate has no idea what the girls were talking about for the one to pose her question.

To capture moments like these, my roommates and I created a "Quote Wall" for our room, on a giant slab of a chalkboard sign. There, we record the entertaining phrases we say to each other and sayings we've overheard from others. We've nearly filled it up in under four months.

Reading through the quotes written on there always puts smiles on our faces and laughter bellowing in our guts. As a piece of comical entertainment, I thought I'd share some of the highlights.

"I feel like vodka is just angry water." — Roommate #1

"I don't think it's the alcohol that makes you drunk, I think it's the mixer." — My mom

"My chemistry homework is kicking my butt. Also my roomie said she'd be reading but I hear snoring coming from her room." — Roommate #2 (when asked, "How's it going?")

"After I graduate, I'll pop my head out into the world and if it snipes me, I'll retreat into grad school." — Random guy

"Thor is like a frat bro. He just keeps drinking and smashing stuff." — Random girl in my history class

"Did I put the Febreze in the fridge?" — My friend

"After my Thursday classes, I'm going to take a fat nap, and then I'll wake up just in time for alcohol." — me

"Among the words given, find the intruder." — Roommate #2 (translating French)

"You might wanna start fixing your bra now." — My friend

"I think Jesus is gay because he has really good lighting in his pictures." — Roommate #2

"That's not fair! We had Peach on our team, that's like having a handicap." — My sister (while playing Mario Party)

"Did you say something? Sorry, I was in the midst of taking off my shirt." — Roommate #2

"Just put it in your mouth and suck it off." — Roommate #2's lemon eating tutorial

"You're jerking it off too fast!" — Roommate #2's mom (on how to drive stick shift)

"Pants are just skirts for both legs." — Roommate #1

"The only things I can do with hair are crappy ponytails, crappy braids, and crappily brushing it." — Me

"We'll start fingering through it soon." — Roommate #2's mom (on packing clothes)

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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