We all have or have had that one friend whose “teasing” got a little close to home. There are those quotes all over Facebook that talk about how your real friends will call you out or throw sarcastic jabs at you because you know they do it with love. In fact, I have had a couple friends who, when I confronted them for being rude, stated that I should’ve known they were joking and that it doesn’t matter because we’re friends.

What?

I don’t know where this mentality came from, this idea that it is okay to intentionally hurt your friends’ feelings, but it needs to go away. I’m not talking about the actual teasing that your friends do whenever you say something funny or are talking about your crush. No, I’m talking about the digs that are inspired by your secrets and insecurities, things you told your “friends” when you felt most vulnerable.

Honestly, it's a little surreal to be writing about something that seems so trivial. Can you believe we still have to talk about why it's not okay to hurt your friends' feelings? Even the jargon that goes along with this topic "hurt feelings," "teasing," and "bullying" seems juvenile. And yet, I've found that it is easier to confront something while it is still in the stages of development so it doesn't become common practice. Hopefully, by the time you're reading this, those of you who are struggling with how to tell your friends to know it off, you can stand up to those who have done you wrong and set the record straight; you are not here to be made fun of.

If you’ve been made to believe that you shouldn’t take these jokes to heart, then I sincerely believe you should reevaluate your friendships. You don’t have to accept a friendship that makes you feel bad for yourself, especially when your friend wants to manipulate you into thinking this kind of behavior is normal.

The tricky part, however, if identifying this behavior in yourself, too.

Obviously, not all teasing is done with the intention of hurting a person’s feelings. Sometimes, sarcasm really is part of a relationship and it is something you and your friend(s) thrive off of. However, there is a fine line between comfortable, playful teasing and the type of teasing that really hurt people, and you pretty much know when you’ve crossed that line.

If you think you have ever said anything that wasn’t nice to a friend of yours, under the guise of teasing, then it’s time to reevaluate the person you want to be. Do you want to be the kind of friend who encourages insecurities? Or do you want to be the type of friend who tries to fix these insecurities so the person underneath can shine through?

We have our friends for a reason. They are funny, smart, kind, loyal, etc. However, none of these qualities matter when the person is routinely making you feel bad about yourself.

No matter what side of the aisle you fall on—teased or teaser—put the cruel teasing to an end. Find a way to poke fun at your friend that is healthy and not hurtful, or simply don’t do it at all. If you care about your friends, it will be easy to do.