There’s one question that always seems to haunt me: “Why are you so quiet?” I have never been a particularly chatty person, especially around people I haven’t known for too long. The thought of making small talk makes me nervous and I would rather have meaningful conversations filled with purpose. I keep to myself for the most part and I am comfortable with silence unlike many of the people around me.
Being quiet never seemed like a problem when I was younger. Going to a small, Catholic school allowed me to become close with the seventeen people in my class and I never felt like being quiet stopped me from doing things.Teachers would always point out that they’d like me to participate more but for the most part being quiet didn’t seem all that bad.
As I grew up, being quiet was more of a hindrance than I ever thought it would be. In high school, more and more people kept telling me to “be more outgoing”. To them, it seemed like being quiet was a flaw in someone’s character or at least that’s what I started to believe hearing that constantly throughout my life.
People just assume that since I don’t feel the need to verbalize my every thought, I must not have many opinions or things to share. However, it’s quite the opposite. My mind is always bubbling with thoughts but the difference is that I don’t feel the need to constantly share them with every person I meet.
Growing up in a world that favors the social butterfly rather than the quiet wallflower is difficult. As a society, we always pay attention to the loudest voice in the room, the person whose charismatic personality and excellent conversational skills gathers the attention of everyone in the room. But sometimes the loudest voice in the room isn’t all that loud. I can recall many times throughout school where I'd share my opinion or crack a joke and the people around me would be slightly shocked. Just because someone is quiet doesn't mean they don't have things to say. They might just take a little longer to be comfortable with sharing.
Being quiet is not a flaw, in fact it can sometimes be a blessing. Quiet people are wonderful listeners and make great friends because of that. Listening to others is an important part of building close-knit relationships. Being quiet also helps you weed out who your friends really are. People have to make more of an effort to get to know you and this ultimately lets you know what relationships are not worth pursuing. Quiet people are also some of the most entertaining people to talk to. Once they let they let you in, you’re given a secret not many people get to know: their personality.
In high school, three of my friends were probably as quiet as I was. Being on the other side of the mystery that is a quiet person, I realize that being friends with one can be difficult. At first, I was scared because they liked to keep to themselves and didn't seem like they wanted to talk to me. As I got to know them I realized that they were just quiet like I was and it was going to take more effort to truly know what they were like. By senior year I came to know that they were hilarious, wild and some of the nicest people I've ever met. Quiet people are like novels, it might take a while to read and it will probably require a lot of effort but in the end you unravel an amazing story. As someone who has tried to get to know a quiet person, I can confidently say it’s worth the wait.
Over the last few weeks, people have pointed out my quiet nature more than I'd like to hear. At rehearsals, in club meetings, everywhere I go people feel the need to point out how quiet I am. Yet, these same people haven't actually had an actual conversation with me. To those who don't understand how someone can be so quiet, I would say actually make an effort to talk to a quiet person before assuming things about them. In the end, you might be surprised.
Yes, being quiet has sometimes has its disadvantages. It’s made me afraid to share my opinion or stand up for things I believe in. Its stopped me from pursuing opportunities because not being loud always seemed like a flaw. It’s taken me eighteen years to realize this but being quiet is not something to be ashamed of, its something to celebrate.
