Just got dumped? Best friend decide to leave? Abandonment is one of the most difficult things in life to comprehend and overcome. You often question every moment leading up to their leaving, wonder if things could have been different, ask how you could have been different and end up eventually blaming yourself for the entire thing. Newsflash: relationships are 50/50. It's all about giving and receiving. If you're anything like me, you've learned that you gave more than you received and in the process you became resentful. On the other hand, if you received more than you gave, your person had nothing left to give you.
I compiled a list of things to do once you are left. Because you are better than this and you deserve more.
1. Grieve.
It's okay to hurt and to cry. Grieve the loss. But there comes a point where you have to get out of bed and start living your life.
2. Listen to Hillary Duff's CD, "Most Wanted."
I'm convinced Hillary got dumped right before she wrote this CD. Turn it all the way up and belt out the lyrics in the shower. Actually, just listen to Hillary on repeat.
3. Get rid of the stuff.
Screenshots, pictures, clothing, etc. are all reminders of what was. We need to be reminded of what will be. Rid your life of the nagging reminders of the pain.
4. Block the number.
Okay, I'm not saying go all crazy. I am saying that distance is the best thing for you. By blocking his/her number for a period of time, you will be unable to contact them and better yet, unable to see that they have not attempted to contact you.
5. Let go.
Don't be resentful. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Opportunities will come up when you least expect them. Don't wait around for this person. Live your life and put the rest to the greater power.
6. Remove from social media.
Out of sight, out of mind.
7. Stick to your routine.
Go to class, meet friends for lunch, call home regularly. Do not lay in bed and sulk. The only possibility you have of feeling normal is acting normal.
8. Workout.
As our friend Elle once said, working out releases endorphins, which in turn makes you happy. Release the anger and frustration through classes or running. I promise you'll feel better.
9. Accept and respect.
Accept that they left and respect their decision. Do not try to convince them otherwise; nothing you do or say will change their minds. And more than that, you deserve someone you don't have to beg to stay.
10. Use this time for yourself.
Be selfish and become a more independent person. Learn your flaws and embrace them, understand your strengths and nurture them. This is your time.
11. Focus on whose there now.
Be there for your friends and family. Focus on the people who stayed. I know it hurts and it's not the same, but they're here for you.
12. Understand that everything happens for a reason.
This is your chance to rebuild yourself. I promise there is a greater purpose for this pain. Trust in yourself and in your fate.
It may feel like your world is falling apart but I promise you that the pieces of your life are just starting to click together. Use this hurt and pain as fuel to your fire. Accomplish your goals, follow your dreams and most importantly, live for yourself. Be selfish and love yourself, now is the only time you'll be able to do so. But most importantly, understand that you are loved and you are worth more than gold. Never, ever forget that.
