I am bisexual, which means I am attracted to men, women, and people outside of the gender binary. This identity tends to come with a lot of questions, some come from curiosity, others out of hate, some from horniness. So, I am going to answer some of the most frequent questions I and other bisexuals have been asked. Here we go.
1. Which gender do you prefer?
Well, I prefer women, but I can't speak for all bisexuals. Some may have a preference, others may not. You see, sexuality is on a spectrum (referred to as the Kinsey Scale), instead of solid points. This means some bisexuals may land closer to the heterosexual side and others toward the homosexual side. This does not mean they are any more or less bisexual.
2. Are you non-monogamous?
No. Just because I am bisexual, does not mean I want to be with both genders at the same time (either in a relationship or sexually). Yes, some people who are bisexual are also in non-monogamous relationships, but that doesn't mean that we all are. Many, myself included, prefer monogamy.
3. If you're with a guy/girl, doesn't that mean you are straight/gay?
No. If that were the case, what would I be if I were single? Just because I am in a relationship doesn't mean I am not attracted to other people, it just means I am not acting on it. I'm not “picking a side" when I decide to commit to someone.
4. What is the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality?
While they seem like the same thing, there is a difference between bi and pan. Pansexuality means gender is not a factor in choosing a partner. It doesn't affect the persons place in a relationship or how they feel about their partner. Bisexuality, on the other hand, can take gender into account in terms of a preference or how they act in the relationship.
5. How do you know you're bisexual?
This one is hard to answer because I just kinda…know. I know I like girls and I also know I like guys. There isn't much to it.
6. Do you feel bad making your partner compete with guys/girls for you?
No, because they don't. They aren't competing against anyone for my affection whether they are of the same or opposite gender. If my (or anyone else's partner) feels like they do need to compete for me, it's the symptom of a larger issue that needs to be addressed and has nothing to do with my sexuality.
7. Are you sure you're not just confused?
Yes, but not about my sexuality. Before adopting the bisexual label, I was confused because I wasn't sure what my sexuality was. But once I discovered a word for how I felt, everything made sense. So, no, I am definitely not confused.
I hope I shed some light on what bisexuality is all about and answered all of your questions. Bisexuality is pretty straight forward and doesn't imply as much as you might think. It's just a part of my identity.
