Diabetics.

We're a breed of our own, and we've got some really wacko sayings to accompany what we do to survive throughout the day. And as someone with a sense of humor, I can say, it's ultimately one of the most helpful ways to deal with my lifestyle.

I don't hate my disease. But I spent a lot of time doing just that. Now that I've embraced it, it makes me sad to see people who blatantly hate it. There's just no point. If you're going to be fighting against your own death every day, you might as well have fun with it!

So I make people stare at me when I say weird things in public. Such as:

1. "Oh my gosh, I'm SOOO high right now."

Blood sugar, lady. Blood sugar.

2. "Excuse me while I go shoot up."

Calm down. I do drugs to live. INSULIN, friends.

3. "Where did I last stab myself?"

It's a MEDICAL NEEDLE. Cool your jets.

4. "Bleed, blast you!"

Not you. My finger, which is being difficult right now.

5. "In the event that I pass out..."

Stop giving me that look. It's HIGHLY unlikely. You just need to know the proper medical procedure. (By the way, keep your hands OFF my insulin. Leave it to the medical professionals.)

6. "I'm so hungover right now."

No, not after a not-smart night of alcohol. Actually after a not-smart night of sugar.

7. "The only things I can't eat are poison and cookies with poison in them."

This sentence usually leads into one of the above-mentioned nights.

8. "Give me the flipping cookie."

No, I'm not angry. I'm hangry. Which means I'm low, which means I actually need it. HAND. IT. OVER. KAREN.

9. "I have a dead organ floating around in my body."

It's called my pancreas. It's rather useless, you see.

10. "That could kill me."

But by all means enjoy it yourself. I begrudge you nothing.

11. "Which kind of drugs do you want?"

I always carry around insulin and Ibuprofen. I've got a bit of a reputation as a drug dealer.

Shoutout to those of you with morbid senses of humor who roll with my weirdness.

Dead organs? Blood? Poisoned cookies and sugar hangovers?

Bless you.