From kindergarten through college, students are asked the same question. Some people ask simply to make conversation, while others ask with a genuine curiosity or intentional purpose. I've been asked more times than I can care to count, and my answer has changed quite a bit over time. My answer may even change more in the future.
What do you want to be?
This question can take on many forms, but all essentially asking the same thing. "If you could have it your way, what type of job would you perform for the rest of your life?" It's not a bad question, and it definitely has purpose and meaning, but I do believe there is a better one.
What if instead of asking what we want to be, we started asking who we want to be? There's a huge difference between the functions we want to perform, and the attitude and character we want to do them with. In reality, it really doesn't matter what jobs we have if we're not performing them fully immersed in the core of who we are.
Too often, the emphasis in our lives is focused on what we want to do and what it will take to get there. We spend time and money going through school because we believe that the courses we take will prepare us for the path we wish to embark on. Yet, the courses themselves only teach so much.
A biology, accounting or European history textbook contains simply the knowledge needed to complete that course. The commitment, drive and dedication it will take to excel in the class is not taught there. The confidence, passion and poise it will take to apply that knowledge in the workforce is not taught there.
So, we take class after class after class to give us the knowledge needed to be what we want to be, but manage to neglect that just as important is who we want to be.
All the financial planning knowledge in the world cannot prepare me for the day when a client entrusts me with personal, private information, but then I'm given the opportunity and temptation to abuse it. The degree I graduated with matters not when I'm faced with a moral temptation, and it is clear that the unethical choice will benefit me greatly. To simply know right from wrong is not enough. I have to make a choice.
When our integrity is challenged, it is no longer about what we know, it's about who we have decided we are. When we lie, cheat, or steal, we know that we are doing is wrong. When we tell the truth, remain sincere and pay or ask for what we take, we know that what we are doing is right. The difference is the choice we make.
It's much easier to establish a commitment to living with integrity before we're faced with difficult decisions than it is to make that choice in the moment. When we've prepared ourselves ahead of time to dedicate our lives to making the right choice, then the emotions experienced in those moments of temptation decrease drastically. The question is no longer, "Which choice will benefit me?" but rather, "Which choice will reflect who I am?"
These types of situations will present themselves in every path of life. No matter what we are, there will always be moments that test who we are. And if we've spent our entire lives only considering the former, then we will never be prepared for the latter. But if we change our question, if we start asking who we want to be, then our journeys through life can be a complete commitment to living as the best versions of ourselves -- whatever we are.
We can't wait until the moment that who are is challenged to ask the question, though. We have to ask ourselves today and everyday who we want to be, and commit fully to the answer.
