When I started college I had this plan of how my life would progress. I gave myself four and a half years to graduate. By 25, I thought I would be married and have a career. But then I turned 22 and I wasn't anywhere close to graduating. Then I turned 23 and really started craving a family to come home to.

I got engaged but it didn't work out. I dated someone with a kid, which gave me a sense of what family life would be like, but again, that didn't work out. My life isn't as together as I wished it would be, but I think in a way all of those things that didn't work gave me a sense of what it is I am waiting for.

I learned from all of my long-term, serious relationships (there have been 4) some lessons that were easy, and some that were pretty painful. I learned about myself, my needs, my shortcomings and my strengths when it comes to sharing a life with someone else. In learning about myself, I learned a lot about the kind of person I want to marry.

1. I need someone who is compassionate.

Recently, I began working with special needs adults and I have found that compassion is one of my strongest traits, and it goes hand in hand with how nurturing of a disposition I have. I know I require compassion and understanding, but I really feel like a nurturing soul is more for the people in our lives.

There is nothing I can't stand like someone who brushes off a child or a person who is different. I take it personally, even. I want someone who shares that disposition with me, not someone that I have to compensate for in that regard. I want someone who will be focused on giving our children what they need emotionally and someone who cares about how the people around him feel, especially if he has the power to make a difference in how they're feeling.

2. Someone who is adventurous.

The thought of working 9-5, coming home and making dinner, and staying in on the weekends terrifies me. I love being outdoors, ice-skating, hiking, exploring cities, learning, creative arts and travel...I love taking off for the weekend with my dog, learning new crafts and meeting new people. I want someone who loves adventure just as much as I do.

3. I need someone who is confident.

One thing I've realized is how hard it is to date someone who is jealous or insecure. Often times those qualities lead to massive control issues, unnecessary confrontation, invasion of privacy and micromanagement of your social life. I like when we can both go out with friends and not be worried the whole time. I never feel the need to snoop through my partner's messages or do a drive by to see if they are where they say they are.

I am also a very social person. I like to get to know people and I thrive off of connection and conversation. I like when the person I am dating can be social alongside me, instead of looking for reasons to fuel their insecurities.

4. Someone who is open-minded.

This one is really important to me and I feel like it goes hand in hand with some of the other attributes that I listed. I really, really, cannot stand people who are close-minded. I think it is a leading trait of judgment and can even cause people to be pretentious and negative. I want someone open to new ideas, different beliefs and cultures and accepting of doing things in different ways. I want this because I think it makes people more accepting of others and allows them to respect people who are different.

5. I definitely need someone with patience.

I can be uptight. I can be micromanaging at times. I know I can needy and dramatic and even moody. I want someone with the patience to let me work through my flaws when they arise and to love me through them. Not someone who impatiently tells me to get over myself or brushes me off when I need a little more sensitivity or attention on the days I am struggling.

6. Someone who is supportive.

Even if he isn't interested in what I write about, I want him to show his support in taking the time to read some of my work. I want someone who will listen to my emotional breakdowns instead of taking the shortcut and telling me it isn't worth my time. I love feeling supported by the person I adore, and I think that goes for most of us.

I want my passions and problems to be important to him, even if he isn't necessarily interested in them. There is no better feeling than having the freedom to be both your best and worst self, knowing your partner will support you either way.

I know the value of my love and the qualities I have in my heart and I want to give them to someone whose traits are worthy of them. I think so many of us get stuck in relationships with the wrong people and we try our hardest to make it work, but in all honesty, we are selling ourselves short for the sake of having someone.

I know I've made that mistake on countless occasions. Don't settle. Wait. Wait for the person whose qualities are ones you admire, not ones that you have to make up for.