Before you start reading, I would like to disclaim this article by acknowledging that everyone is different and has unique wants and needs. If you prefer to hookup with no strings attached, that's awesome that you know what you want; more power to you. I'm simply writing as a voice for the countless girls I know that have vented about this topic.

I've never been a "hookup" kind of person. Those who know me well, know this. I've had amazing experiences that have accustomed me to approaching physical relationships in a traditional way, and even one absolutely terrible experience that has forever turned me off of getting with people I don't truly care about. I've also heard it all from my friends: the good, the bad, and the really ugly stories. The general consensus, I've collected, leans more towards hooking up being a negative thing rather than a positive for the girls I know.

While after a few drinks it might seem like a great idea to spend a night in the sheets of the cute guy you just met, finding yourself in an unfamiliar bed with an unfamiliar boy the next morning isn't a very good wake-up call for many young women. Almost all of my friends have shacked (or stayed the night, for those of you who don't know college lingo) with random people they met when they were out at Greek functions or bars and clubs, but most of them have admitted to regretting it afterwards. They said they wished they hadn't gone home with the guy, or at least hadn't gone as far with him as they did. They complained about being tired of giving themselves to young men who wouldn't give them the time of day when clothes came back on and drinks had faded. They said although their physical needs were being met (often by a different guy every other weekend), they were left emotionally unsatisfied and empty.

I'm definitely not saying you have to be in a relationship to be emotionally content. I know firsthand that this is absolutely not true. The problem I'm pointing out here is that when you are physical with someone, you're giving them something beautiful and precious that only you have the right to give: yourself. When it's given to someone whose name you're still trying to remember while you struggle to take your clothes off in their twin bed, it loses its meaning. Call me traditional or old-fashioned, but I think sex is extremely special. I know times have changed and it's not considered a big deal to hook up with someone only to become strangers afterwards, but I don't want that. I don't want to have that conversation with my future husband and regretfully count off all of the people I've slept with, some of whom I barely knew. The man at the altar and the boy at the bar do not deserve to receive the same thing from me.

It's really difficult to have this mentality in college, because whether it actually is or not, it seems like the norm is to sleep with whomever, whenever. Most of those friends of mine who regretted having sex with random guys said they figured it was going to happen anyways, and that was probably the expectation, so they just went with it. It's also really hard to stop once you start, so self control seems incredibly rare. When you meet someone who respects you enough to not push and test your boundaries and doesn't expect anything from you due to the "norm" that is hookup culture, you will gain so much trust and respect for that person, and you'll realize that contrary to popular belief, there still are traditional people like you in college.

This doesn't necessarily have anything to do with Christian values and I'm not trying to shove the idea of abstinence down anyone's throat. I'm also once again not saying that this mentality is for everyone, and I'm not telling anyone what is the right and wrong way to handle your own body. That's up to you. We all have the right to choose what’s best for us, whether based on religious or traditional values or whatever it may be. But for those of you who were thinking it, it's okay to start saying it. There's nothing wrong with saying no and you're not crazy for not going all the way. There are actually more of you than you'd think out here, I promise. Your choices don’t make you less valuable or less worthy. In fact, in the right guy’s eyes, it might just be admirable.