Everyone has a story, an important moment to share, or something you can learn from them. Humans are so complex, yet so well understood. We have the power to empathize and relate. Knowing all of that, we still tend to get lost in our own lives and stop listening to people. Hearing is different from actually listening. We need to start opening our minds and ears to start listening to people. The first step to doing that is putting our phones down.
In a world filled with constant stimulation with our phones, we are losing the ability to properly communicate. We have been losing sight of how people should be spoken to and how we should listen. We should be able to hold a conversation and hold eye contact with someone without having to reach for our phones.
People want and deserve to be heard. Everyone deserves your complete attention when they are telling you something, especially if that someone is important to you. I certainly wouldn’t want to be in a situation where I was told crucial information and responded: “wait, what?” simply because I was on my phone and I was only twenty-five percent listening. Being on your phone constantly while someone is talking shows them that you don’t really care about what they are saying. Now, that might not be the case, you might actually care what they are saying, but using your phone in no way shows them how you appreciate the words coming out of their mouth.
Looking at our iPhones has definitely made others and myself less sensitive to things happening around us. If you are at a party and things get boring, what do you do? You automatically look at your phone for entertainment. While this is a natural thing, it enables us to not seek out conversations, in turn becoming less social. Humans are supposed to be social and have in-depth conversations, by no means all the time, but definitely some of the time. I’m not saying try to talk about your religious beliefs at the bar, but maybe try having a more personal conversation with your closest friends. Even something as silly a story about your childhood – information is what makes people grow stronger. The more you know about someone, usually the easier it is to connect.
You can actually learn something from each person you meet. It might be a small fact about where they grew up, or it could be a crucial story that changes your life. Think about this- if someone is having a bad day and you happen to ask why they are having a bad day, maybe you can make it better.
So, the next time you are having a conversation, flip your phone over. Listen to what they are saying and then respond. Don’t pause for a texting break or to scroll through Instagram. What’s truly important in life is all of the people around us, and the ones that are having the deep conversations that all of us need, not the Instagram likes or Snapchats we get.
